#like my aro heart is just more relating to him

[aro-tarot]

Can’t just have this be in the tags because YES to all of this.

Before all of the RSD parts, there are also little things too. Like, I’ve seen people point out how Jaskier keeps just trying to eat things. Desk of stuff for potions? Well, these are berries. I’ll eat those. Soup? I’m hungry! I’ll eat that. Wait. I don’t like carrots. Spits it out after since I didn’t look at the soup to see if I’d even like it. Then the salt this season… Jaskier’s impulsivity sometimes goes beyond just words. It just reminds me of when I realize that I’m hungry and nothing else matters because that’s now the only thing in my brain. If I wasn’t so indecisive than I’d probably also just grab the first thing in sight in the kitchen to eat. (Though I have, honestly, grabbed a bag of chips and ate the entire bag as a meal since it was the first thing I saw way too many times.)

Jaskier almost running right into a sign this season was also relatable. When you’re busy talking about something, it’s hard to notice what’s going on around you. It’s happened to me plenty of times.

And with wanting Jaskier there since he’d be the one to rely on in an intense situation made me think of how he’s literally turned into the one that grabs the injured out of the situation, and that also just shows his character as well. He might not be able to fight, but he goes right into a protector mode which we saw even in s1 where he was even willing to use his lute as a weapon to protect the lady he had been flirting with.

With RSD and s2, it was also painful for me to watch as well. I’d never had that happen in a show before. I mean, the other show I hyperfixate on is a tragedy. It might have made me cry at times, but that’s the kind of show it is. It’s ends up as a sort of whump fest for the protagonist especially when he loses his friend (which is also easily able to be seen as a queerplatonic partner, which is why I finally checked out the show to begin with.)

But unlike that show even, I’ve never felt so and that kind of uncomfortable watching a show like I did with s2. Like, I have no issue with whump. I actually really like hurt/comfort fics. The torture scene with Jaskier was no problem, and if anything, I really liked it. Yennefer came right in and saved him. It was my cup of tea.

But with how Jaskier was treated by everyone else this season?

That was painful. Even if we had seen even more torture and what Jaskier had been going through, it wouldn’t have been able to compare.

Like:

I didn’t like Jaskier and Geralt’s reunion. Jaskier is clearly upset, and he’s hiding some of that at first with humor since humor is clearly part of how he deals with being hurt, but even when he gets serious and tells Geralt to shut up because he needs to get it out, he needs to finally get how hurt he was even if he’s downplaying it, he can’t because Geralt needs them to go and save Ciri.

It was a no wonder Jaskier, even after having come that close to getting it all out, downplays it during the actual apology. He had to shut up because there are more important things going on, and he’s just Jaskier. When is he ever important? He’s just the bard that follows Geralt around and writes songs about him. (Probably the voice in Jaskier’s head.)

And then even before that, for me, what was even more painful was when Jaskier was calling himself stupid. He failed, and immediately he thinks he’s the biggest idiot. Especially since besides rejection sensitivity, I also have depression and anxiety disorder and a fear of failure, it was like looking at myself in a mirror.

S2, in general, was like looking in a mirror.

It had been easy to headcanon Jaskier as an ADHDer in s1, but s2? It went from a character that I kind of relate to into feeling like I was watching myself on the scene. The way that Geralt had treated him and how others dismissed him was something that I’ve experienced myself. Even pushing my hurt aside as if friends are just like that. As Jaskier was saying to brush it off and kind of bring it up to Geralt to see if they were at least still friends, friends come back. That’s just how it’s supposed to be, right?

And him being ignored was also painful since I’ve also been there. You try to just make a joke to make it not that bad, but it goes deeper anyway. Looking at s2, also had me wondering how much of this Jaskier had even dealt with off camera? Ya know?

That and seeing some of the people I used to follow dismissing Jaskier’s feelings of heartbreak over Geralt as “clearly” having only been because Jaskier is “clearly” in love with him romantically, had me unfollowing people and trying to avoid mention of the scene. It managed to feel invalidating as someone that’s aromantic and also an ADHDer, ya know? Like, apparently I can’t feel that way towards people or strongly towards people. Luckily, my brother also found it very relatable as someone that had experienced something similar as an alloromantic non-ADHDer.

Okay, someone wrote that they thought Jaskier had ADHD in some of my tags, and I've just GOT to address this, because asfjasfljadsflasjd;dlasja;slfjd;as...

@aro-tarot , OMFG YES!!!

As someone with ADHD, I've got such strong ADHD vibes from Jaskier like you wouldn't believe!

(That, plus I tend to headcanon that Jaskier suffers from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a condition strongly associated with ADHD, but more on that further down...)

I mean he's usually got no freaking impulse control whatsoever, and no filter on his mouth!

And even when he HAS that filter on, and some vague awareness that opening his mouth further and speaking his mind might get him into yet more trouble…

Well, the frustration he feels in the now is apparently so strong that the possibility of having to pay a price later is but a too distant and abstract concept to be enough to put a stop to that mouth!

I mean, that moment right here?

Someone without ADHD would have stopped themselves at "Am I going to say it?" because of the "Yeah, if I antagonize him, he might decide to keep me away from getting on that boat and I'll jeopardize my safety as well as the safety of the people that are currently counting on me," that should normally logically follow...

Someone with a very strong case of ADHD however... Well, they might just have to say it!

Same thing in Season 1 with the elves. Jaskier's bound and tied ,and he just keeps antagonizing them because he's angry, and the need to express his anger somehow screams louder than the punch or the kick he'll be receiving 2 freaking seconds later if he keeps verbally lashing out at them!

Self-soothing and impulse managing are two skills that Jaskier doesn't quite have a good mastery of.

Like, don't let him get his hands on a djinn while heartbroken, drunk, and deeply wounded (because his best and very possibly queerplatonic friend just insulted his singing, while implying that it was likely why his other friend/lover had just left him, no less)... He might just start wishing Valdo Marx dead!

Generally, I'd strongly advise keeping him away from anything that could potentially become a weapon if he's highly emotional.

That's never a good combination.

Jaskier might do something he'll regret, and realize it was awfully dumb and stupid only once he's deeply in trouble, or has finally calmed down.

ADHD isn't a mood disorder, but it's been described as a "failure to self-regulate moods disorder".

Meaning that people with ADHD feel the same emotions as anyone else most of the time (RSD is a bit of an exception; again, more on that later), but they'll just have a harder time avoiding openly expressing them, and stopping themselves from acting upon them.

They can succeed most of the time (thankfully); and I highly suspect that Jaskier might be at his most focused and emotionally measured around Ciri, because he feels responsible for her.

Adults often have this instinct to sacrifice their own needs and wants to give priority to those of children (including sometimes teenagers, and/or grown children they've adopted as part of their family system and are still mentoring through life).

People with ADHD also tend to have a blast playing aunt/uncle, because we can super easily connect with the sense of wonder, excitement, and defiance of authority of children and younger people - be very impulsive and silly with them and act like children and teens ourselves, at times - while still remaining responsible and protective of them when we need to be.

It's like suddenly flipping our "adult switch" on, because we're aware they need us to be the adult.

But fellow adults don't need us to "adult" for their sake.

They typically have their own shit together way better than we do! So, we're just that almost full time impulsive dumb kid that they need to constantly watch out for while around our adult friends.

UNLESS they make it extremely clear to us that they need our help and/or for us to focus. We can "adult" if the stakes are high, and/or they need our support, too.

But that's not our default mode!

We'd rather be chasing butterflies and playing videogames / writing songs (or meta... Meta's good... My brain loves meta because it's always over-analyzing things!), doing whatever keeps us interested and stimulated in the now, than carefully planning things and being responsible.

And there's also that scene where Jaskier is in the Witcher lab with Yennefer, while Ciri's possessed by Voleth Meir (you know... going around killing people, lives are at stake and all that...).

But, since all of this is happening in another room, Jaskier can't quite emotionally connect with the gravity of the situation, so he's eating whatever he finds his hands on while randomly talking about nipples because Yennefer said "oriole", and his brain thought it sounded like "areola" (yeah, our brains are always making a bunch of connections that aren't relevant to the situation)!

Yet, as soon as Yennefer makes it clear that she needs him to focus, he's 100% in the moment with her, and has flipped that "adult switch" on.

We can go there, but it typically requires a strong enough emotional incentive for us to ground ourselves, and it's a state that gets draining when sustained for a too long period of time.

And given how we're at our best when highly stressed, Jaskier's probably the person you want there with you when things start really going to shit!

He's at his best when he's got no idea what he's going to do, and he has to think fast and improvise to respond to whatever is happening in real time.

Oh, and I'm about 99.9% sure that he suffers from rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), too (yeah, we're finally going there).

I discovered what RSD was about 5 years ago, how it tied into my ADHD, and that it had been something that I'd been struggling with (and often doing everything I could to hide) my whole life without really understanding it.

One thing that people with RSD tend to do, sadly, is constantly downplay our own hurt and pretend everything is fine - do our best to keep others constantly entertained and happy with us, even at our own expanse at times - so that they won't perceive us as a burden, and will continue to want to have us around.

Since a part of us is deeply aware that our emotional response to real (and/or even perceived) rejection, and the pain it causes, feels way more intense than it normally should be, we tend to be ashamed of it, and unable to fully discuss those feelings with those we love.

So, even when we do speak up for ourselves, we are afraid that we might be exaggerating, and/or making the issue much bigger than it is.

Thus, we almost regret it right away, and/or feel guilty for it afterwards, and we'll be almost desperate to let our friend "off the hook" as quickly as possible so they'll love us again.

Therefore watching Jaskier's behavior in Season 2, and the way certain characters (except Yennefer, that genuinely surprised me) responded to him, was actually physically painful for me to watch at times.

Some of the most triggering moments for someone with RSD include:

Jaskier brushing off Geralt's sincere apology - attempting to hide the depth of the emotional devastation he'd caused him - to avoid being perceived as being too much trouble and risking abandonment again.

Jaskier humorously pretending that Ciri going past him, as if he didn't exist, didn't hurt, while joking "Like father, like daughter".

Him going "Right, yeah," when Yarpen Zigrin dismisses him - having chosen to turn that constant rejection into some kind of game between them - because it's much easier to be under the illusion that they're just good-naturally teasing each other, than facing the possibly that Yarpen might genuinely consider him an unwanted nuisance he'd gladly do without, and that having excluded him from the word "friend" was 100% done on purpose!

That same little heartbreaking "Right. Yeah" after he tells Lambert "Look at us. Just one big happy family, eh?" and Lambert goes "No." While pushing him out of the way.

Jaskier is a sweet, loving, empathetic, highly sensitive bard that's on the freaking aromantic spectrum!

And aromantics can most definitely love their best friend in the whole wide world with an intensity, a depth, a sincerity, and a level of devotion that can easily match - and perhaps even surpass - any romantic couple.

Heck, I don't consider myself to be quite on the aromantic spectrum (given that I do experience primary romantic attraction towards people), but I also have a tendency to form friendships that are more emotionally (and sometimes physically, and even sexually) intimate than many of the romantic relationships I've had (except, perhaps, my current one, that is definitely on par).

I think the only reason why I've managed to remain with the same romantic partner (that I do consider the romantic love of my life) for 17 years now - and would gladly spend the rest of my life with him - is because of how deeply supportive and respectful he's been of those friendships I have.

I've built my own found family over the years that I wouldn't want to live without. And I've broken up with prior romantic partners that couldn't agree to "share me" with those other people I love (in a non-romantic way, but that doesn't make it any less tangible or real!) without regretting a single thing.

So, I wholeheartedly believe that Jaskier does love Geralt and always has loved him.

And I know that, if I'm right about this, and if Jaskier is indeed prone to RSD, then the level of emotional and physical pain that Geralt's rejection put him through would have been absolutely soul wrenching.

"I've also survived, no thanks to you," sounds just about right.

Jaskier is human, while witches and witchers are frozen in time. He's been loving Geralt and travelling alongside him and singing songs about him for about 20 years.

20 years, in a human life, is a lot of one's life to devote to someone...

Then, the moment that Geralt's romantic love interest (Yennefer) leaves him, he turns on Jaskier and basically tells him that he's brought him nothing but bad luck and misery for two decades, and that what would please him ,above everything else, would be for life to rid him of him!

Why don't you just take a sword and run Jaskier through, Geralt? I think that would have been less painful to watch!

So, I think this is one of the reasons why Season 3 has been so freaking cathartic to watch for me!

I've been literally crying my eyes out each time people made Jaskier feel loved, wanted, said thank you (even Yarpen!!! Freaking Yarpen stopped to thank him, and called him by his preferred name, Jaskier)...

And of course, there's Radovid...

I could go on and on about how good it felt to have a character that finally treats Jaskier with the same care, attention, and empathy that Jaskier offers others...

But, I think one of the things I loved the most, with Radovid, is how Jaskier himself responded to him.

He's not trying to please him, quite the contrary.

When Radovid asks "Have you come to sing us pretty songs?", Jaskier answers "No. I don't do pretty".

And then, when Radovid says that, while he appreciates the information that Jaskier has brought him, all he really wants is a song, Jaskier responds by saying that "he's not really in a singing mood."

Because yes, he's a bard. Yes, he sings about people he's encountered on his travels, and yes, he sings about people he loves...

But he doesn't want to sing "pretty songs" about Witchers, fairytales, heroics and heartbreak for the entertainment of a Prince and his court!

He's not there so that "Prince Radovid" can sing the praises of "Jaskier the Bard" 's triumphant private performance at the palace!

That's not what pleases Jaskier anymore.

I don't think Jaskier feels like he's got anything to prove performance-wise anymore and, sadly, I believe that, instead of giving him a sense of finally being seen and loved - of belonging...

At times, all this singing and performing - often for the benefit of others - has made him feel even more invisible and isolated.

And that's the beauty of him singing "Extraordinary Things", because that song is all about Jaskier.

It's vocally raw, vulnerable, filled with a fragile hope for love and for someone that makes him feel like he is seen for who he is... For someone that can help Jaskier finally believe that who he is is enough.

For someone that makes him feel like he doesn't have to try so hard to pretend to be happy, and fine, and give others what he thinks they want, so that maybe they'll love him (or keep on loving him) back.

Because it's not just Geralt...

Geralt is the one whose rejection hurt Jaskier the most, because he's the one Jaskier has loved and trusted the most...

Geralt is the one that broke something in Jaskier - his ability to feel safe in the belief that his closest friends would never abandon him.

Thanks to Geralt outburst, Jaskier is likely now being cursed with a little voice, in the back of his mind, that will continue to pop up from time to time whenever he feels safe and happy in his relationships, to make him wonder if his friends and family don't secretly wish that they could get rid of him.

Rationally, I'm sure that Jaskier understands that what happened with Geralt was caused by Geralt's own issues, and that his own behavior wasn't the cause of the rejection.

Rationally, I'm sure that he can trust in their relationship, and feel confident in the love they share.

But emotionally? Although trauma can be managed and kept at bay the vast majority of the time, there are always moments where you're bound to be more tired, stressed out, and where you don't always have the energy to push back against all of those nasty voices that wait for you to let your guards down to be heard and make you doubt.

However, besides what specifically happened with Geralt, Jaskier sadly has a very long history of having had to deal with rejections of all kinds, and been made to feel like he was never enough.

Even Valdo's obstinated refusal to learn Jaskier's name is like he's constantly trying to symbolically murder Jaskier by denying him the very right to exist, for fuck's sake!

After watching those scenes, I thought "Yup! It's really no wonder this happened:

So, while having gotten Geralt back - and obviously having built strong emotional ties with Yennefer and Ciri since the end of Season 2 - has likely tremendously helped easing some of the pain rejection has caused Jaskier throughout his life, he still has those moments where it deeply hurts him.

And I think that Geralt knows...

Jaskier might have been trying to hide it - and Geralt might not fully understand why Jaskier was hurt as deeply as he was (I doubt RSD is something that people often talk about in their world) - but he knows that a part of Jaskier still fears being rejected or abandoned again.

He's just being so soft and patient with Jaskier this season; making it immediately clear that he's not angry with Jaskier, and that their relationship is not threatened the moment that he senses his discomfort.

Or, you know, just reassuring him that the separation between them is only temporary, and that he's going to be the first person he comes looking back for as soon as he's done dealing with Rience.

If Jaskier truly is someone that tends to see people as they really are - not as they pretend to be - then it's easy to see why Jaskier did fall in love with Geralt.

That level of perceptiveness is both a gift and a curse for Jaskier, though.

Because when the person you love is set on self-destructing and unable to embrace who they really are, you might find yourself caught in the blast.

Still, when Geralt is allowing himself to be loved, and to openly love people back, he's an absolutely wonderful (platonic, alterous, romantic...) partner to have.

He's shown as someone who is able to not only apologize, but also recognize the impact that his mistakes have had on others, and take full responsibility for them.

Jaskier may have been quick to brush his apology off and pretend that all was good, but Geralt apparently knows better and, more importantly, is showing that the apology was sincere.

He's making efforts to better communicate with Jaskier and he's doing everything he can to not only alleviate some of the pain he's caused him, but to avoid triggering his insecurities.

Sadly, RSD is not something that Geralt alone can fix, especially not when Jaskier has been exposed to a number of different patterns of interpersonal rejections throughout his life.

And, while Jaskier has a tendency to pretend being fine even when he's not, his eyes almost always tell the truth.

Makes you wonder just how emotionally smart and insightful Radovid is...

Because when someone sings to you those lines...

The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love Of them I have had enough With you, I have enough With you, I am enough I am, I am enough

Then looks at you with those eyes...

Well, it's rather easy to understand that Jaskier has been made to feel like he wasn't good enough for those he loved, and/or still loves in the past.

And, given the success of "Burn Butcher Burn", I wouldn't put it past Radovid to have guessed that - athough they were back to being close friends - Geralt might have had something to do with the enduring vulnerability and the hurt he saw reflected there...

Thus, leading him to taking an educated guess as to what might have happened, and ask Jaskier "Does the Witcher know how lucky he is to have you?"

Somehow, with that simple question, Radovid has achieved two very important things...

He's just told Jaskier that not only does he, indeed, believe him to be enough, but he would consider himself lucky to have him...

He's just told Jaskier that whatever Geralt might have said or done to make him feel unwanted in the past, it had been wrong.

And, judging by Jaskier's answering smile, our beloved bard just got himself a fresh new (and quite princely) voice in his head to help him drown out the sound of all the other voices that are occasionally trying to convince him that he's a barely tolerable burden to those he loves.

Radovid has thrown just enough shade Geralt's way to avoid insulting their relationship; while at the same time sort of giving Jaskier the permission to mentally go "Ha! See?! There are people that want and love me, and would consider themselves lucky to have me in their lives! God, you used to be such an asshole, Geralt!" should he still need to go there to help himself manage his pain.

As a victim of Geralt's harsh and cruel words, Jaskier is entirely entitled to have moments where he needs to be a bit petty about the way Geralt used to treat him, and to call him the "family goat".

It's a very healthy way of coping with the residual hurt and anger because it puts the blame in the right place (Jaskier didn't do anything to deserve the way he was treated by Geralt nor to provoke that rejection) with just enough humor to keep that pain and resentment from growing into something that could actually be damaging to their relationship.

Radovid is an impressively good and attentive listener - at least as far as Jaskier himself is concerned.

And maybe that's one of the (many) reasons why Radovid asking to borrow Jaskier's lute, and singing the song back to him, touched me as much as it did.

It stood in sharp contrast to people singing Jaskier's songs back to him while thinking it makes THEM special for knowing a few lines! That Jaskier should be grateful to THEM for being fans, supporting his art, etc.

The entitled patrons that believe Jaskier's singing should be about what they love to hear without being really interested in what Jaskier wishes to say.

Like that obnoxious guy at the docks who started singing "The Golden One" with Jaskier, basically going "See! I'm a big fan! That totally makes us buddies now! And, as such, here are my artistic input, so that maybe you can do better next time! You know, it's good, but it's not good enough for me. Here's how you can improve!"

Basically sending Jaskier the message: "You, the artist, the message and the feelings you are trying to convey through your art don't matter. You are but invisible. Sure, you have a name, and now I'm excited at the opportunity of making my friends jealous by saying I've met you! But you're just a tool that I can now use to make myself more important and interesting to others! Your job is to stay in the shadow of your songs! Your job is to make me happy, to entertain me, to please me, to sing what I want to hear the way I wish I could hear it and to make your art all about me."

Instead, Radovid simply borrows Jaskier's lute, and humbly starts playing the song with a sense of reverence, gratitude, respect, and desire to offer Jaskier something in return for the gift he's offered him by sharing a part of himself with him through his song.

Radovid said that he had long wanted to meet Jaskier in person and presented himself as someone that is a fan of his songs, but that's because they fascinate him.

He genuinely cares about what Jaskier has to say and communicate to others (and/or about others) through them, not about what he wants to hear.

In a world where Jaskier has had to constantly fight to fit in, where he's often made to feel like he's "barely tolerated" (and it usually takes a long time for people to get to genuinely appreciate him, and openly love him back the way he loves them)...

Radovid is someone that comes along showing him that love is not supposed to be earned.

Love is a gift. You love people for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

And what Radovid heard, through those songs, was something so special, intriguing, and irresistible to him that his own response was a genuine desire to get to know the man behind the art.

He tells Jaskier that the unique way he sees the world, and his need to express it, does not make him hypersensitive or annoying - it makes him special.

I don't think the hurt in Jaskier's eyes will ever 100% go away, and that his RSD can ever be completely resolved, either...

But it doesn't need to, because it can be managed and shouldn't get in the way of one's ability to experience joy and happiness, too.

Pain is a natural and healthy part of one's life, as long as it doesn't stand in the way of everything else - as long as there's balance, and room for healing whenever it comes along.

As as long as Jaskier's found family continues to love and accept him the way he is - to let him know that he's an important part of their lives - I believe Jaskier's going to be fine. REALLY fine...

Even the moments when he's hurting are going to be fine, because that's not all there is, and he's got people loving him and offering comfort.

And maybe I'm too hopeful about this, but I think there's most definitely hope for Radovid and Jaskier to make a relationship work between them, too.

Even if it turns out to be a somewhat unconventional one, and completely different from what people might have in mind when they think of a classic "romantic couple", they can find a way to make it work for them.

My advice to them would be to leave all expectations and social conventions at the door, allow themselves to be creative in "loving outside the box", and to build something together that addresses most of their respective needs, while acknowledging and respecting the other responsibilities and emotional attachments each other have.

Oddly enough, Jaskier is one of the few people that I could imagine clearly understanding that Radovid's existence is a bit of a tragedy where he'll never be free to fully belong to himself.

In the event of his brother's untimely death (for example), should Radovid decide to give up his claim to the throne to live a less complicated life, any Redanian ruler could still try to have him assassinated "just in case" he was to change his mind, and later come challenge them.

The palace is a golden cage, and I think Jaskier would not hold it against Radovid, or grow resentful towards him, that he would only be able to offer Jaskier what he is actually free to give without risking both their lives in the process.

He might grow frustrated with all the circumstances that are creating some significant challenges to their relationship, but I could imagine Jaskier wishing to face those as partners, and avoiding to be angry at Radovid for what he can't magically change.

This is where Jaskier's ADHD brain might become an asset by helping him make unique connections, and find creative solutions to allow Jaskier to - as Batey suggested - still find the light in the darkest of places for them two.

So yeah, I definitely tend to headcanon Jaskier as having ADHD (with some significant amount of RSD), too.

[235uranium]

I love how ppl say they're writing ford as aro when they're writing him as aroace and by love I mean I find it deeply frustrating

[frothing-at-the-mouth]

I'll write the image description when I get home < 3 Gonna dump some rambles about impulse on you guys again tho Happy pride month *Added image description and wowie did that end up being a lotta text lol

(Id: Image One: OP'S fursona peaks from the bottom of the image, the following text is on the image in large text "Happy Pride Month" Below it in smaller texts "Here is my Fav DC comics Headcannon" In A little cloud bubble it says "With Some Evidence For It" In a smaller bubble it says "Hint: I'm gonna ramble about Bart Allen Again" Image Two: A drawing of OP's fursona, grinning and gesturing to the left top corner, in that corner says "Aro/Ace Impulse" And has a drawing of Impulse's head below the text are two hearts colored in the Aromantic and Asexual pride flags Image Three: A drawing of OP'S fursona peaking over the right corner with a comic panel and a speech bubble to the left that says "Like literally on several occasions he's got a bunch of pretty girls swooning over him" In the bottom of the page OP's fursona is drawn with his eyes closed and a hand raised gesturing to a comic panel to the right of him accompanied by a speech bubble that says "And he could not give less of a damn about it, like zero interest" The two comic panels are from the Impulse comics and show what OP is talking about Image Four: Op's fursona in the top right of the image leans on some comic panels in the Image and says "And then we've got the part where he and his best friend kiss as a bit and they think anything than being more than just friends it so silly they're giggling over it" Lower on the page partially in front of some of the comic panel their fursona is drawn again with another speech bubble that says "On a side note I appreciate how in his comics there isn't a forced love plot. he's just 'got really close friends it reminds me of my high school experience with friendships" The comic panels show the instance of the joke kiss and then the panel saying how they'll be friends forever Image Five: OP's fursona leans over the edge of a comic panel looking down and it and says "And then there was how Cissie redirected him away from having a meltdown.", The fursona is also on the bottom of the panel and continues the thought in another speech bubble "Reacting to that in such utter confusion that it distracted him from his panicked spiraling" The featured comic panel shows Cissie confessing her love to Bart while Bart is panicked, Bart responds in confusion and stops spiraling and Cissie walks away saying "Figured that would do it" Image Six: OP's fursona is drawn in the right gesturing to a doodle of Impulse's head accompanied by the following text above him "I don't see aro/ace characters in media much so seeing this kind of stuff in his comics makes me feel really happy and seen" And the following text to his right " That, along with all the evidence of him having autism and adhd too makes him super relatable and cool to me since its hard to find representation with all those bits in one package, and I love how all of it is just a part of how he is, and how other characters don't like go out of their way to treat him differently -ID End)

[ungodlysaltyinfrastructure]

Hey… so uh… Alux witnessing his mother die in front of him, anyone?

Aha. So um. I inexplicably went missing on tumblr...

Why? I tried deleting an experimental side blog I didn't need/want, and because I don't know how tumblr works, I had actually deleted my main account (Note to self, never venture off into the account settings, WITHOUT CHECKING WHICH BLOG IM ON) I was devastated about it, but, it may have been a good thing for me, question mark? I had been embroiled in toxic queer discourse (aphobia sucks), and it took a toll on my mental well-being. So I took this unfortunate deletion of my work as a sign to relax a bit, despite the pit of panic that formed when this happened. Luckily, I'm better! (again >_>) and I still love Alux Rising, so here I am, making my grand return! back at it again with more way too long character analysis!

I would've posted about my abrupt leaving of tumblr sooner as I was eager to explain everything, but then AR 14 dropped soooooooooooo

Okay. Ar 14. Just made me incredibly happy. A major thing that had been missing for me was actual depictions of Alux as a child. He goes on about how his childhood was rough, but we never actually got to see such. Only the aftermath of such childhood with his relationship to Elric.

Now that we've seen it,

Oh God. It explains, a lot. I always thought Alux acted weird, so much so that I started to theorize that he was *actually* autistic/ASD (More Asperger's Syndrome but that term is no longer used)

But now…

I still hold firm in my Autistic Aro Alux Headcanon, but now his “lack of character” makes more sense to me.

It's made out that Alux's lack of character was prominent in his childhood, as his mother says that one day, he'll learn to like whatever he likes, and he'll be his own person, inferring that he doesn't understand that yet as a child. That's really intriguing to me. Apparently, his blandness was apparent in his childhood, and now in his adulthood. And it seems that the only thing he fully knows how to do, is to help people. If this lack of uniqueness to his character was in his childhood, then maybe the fact that Alux is bland is a defining character trait for him. One that will be overridden by this developing story of Alux rising. (Aha! Character development!)

Now, in relation to Alux and his parents.

It seems like he followed his mom more than his dad. That's why he brings her up in his and Elric's argument, and why he says “I like what you like!” and “I want to be just like you” To her in the memory.

And upon further rewatching, my heart just broke.

In the memory, Alux's mom says “But remember to be the best version of yourself, and to treat others how you want to be treated.”

How does Alux treat others currently? *He constantly helps them. protecting them, making sure they're OK.*

*sigh*...

Ok.

I'm really glad that we got this flash back. It actually helps put some character into Alux (even if it being trauma) and his lack of reaction to a lot of things makes much more sense. Even after the whole flashback, his lack of talking about the memory for why he had such a strong reaction feels very realistic considering the circumstances.

Another thing I realized, when Alux snaps out of it, the surrounding magic of green crystals is the orchids. I'm crying.

It most definitely seems like witnessing his mother's death stunted Alux's mental development to a degree, mostly in the sense that he doesn't fully know who he is, what he wants, or what he likes with what seemed to be his only supporting figure in his life now gone. If he still had his mother, maybe he would've turned out differently. (Wow shocker, I know.)

And honestly, we all knew Alux was traumatized, but I did not expect it to be to THIS extent. I just thought his mom died of an illness, and he wasn't there to see it but she was gone.

I was. SO WRONG.

Dead wrong. One could say.

Like Alux's mom- *cough*

anyways- yea Alux's nickname should definitely be Horny, Professor Red- oops, sorry *GEARS* comes up with the best nicknames, in fact he should become president and deliver every presidential speech in his rhyming scheme.

Oh and James is not dead,

Apparently.

[sunderingstars]

.✦ ── ✦.

mundanite assembly

.✦ ── ✦.

what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, theory crafting, elation!sampo and erudition!sampo, coining ma!sampo (short for mundanite assembly!sampo) as we speak, and printed!sampo too, small breakdown over windup world (iii), okay just hear me out, post-analysis clarity made me open my third eye for this one

word count: 10.8k

overview: a breakdown of all six mundanite assembly (unknowable domain) stories — “the great lie,” “those remembered,” “resleeved,” “dousing flames,” “printed truths,” and “windup world” — in the context of sampo koski’s potential backstory & identity.

.✦ ── ✦.

Introduction

.✦ ── ✦.

In terms of Sampo Koski as a character, I’m still not entirely confident that Mundanite Assembly (MA for short) applies to him. Although I detail a lot — and I mean a lot — of similarities between these stories and what we know about Sampo in this analysis, the truth is that his past is shrouded in so much mystery that it could have literally nothing to do with the Unknowable Domain.

That being said, I do hope I can put forward a solid thesis here: Mundanite Assembly may, in a chronological sense, provide information on Sampo Koski’s origins, identity, and backstory through the exploration of small moments in time across different, likely reincarnating, “copied,” or transferable, lives.

(Mundanite Assembly is a relatively new piece of evidence for Sampo theories, so I apologize if I miss any details or lore implications. I’m not too familiar with the Scholars’ Strife or the Second Emperor’s War, so feel free to let me know about any extra information I miss.

Also, a big shoutout to @/ricochetlovebombs and @/anothermtroubls for pointing me in the direction of Rubert and Rubert II!)

I will be referring to the second person “you” perspective of each story sometimes by who the protagonist is (a professor, a memory device, etc.) and sometimes by “Sampo” directly. This doesn’t mean I think the MA!Sampo theory is 100% true, only that using Sampo’s name gets my point across more clearly.

.✦ ── ✦.

General Observations

.✦ ── ✦.

— Chronology. The Great Lie ➜ Those Remembered ➜ Resleeved ➜ Dousing Flames ➜ Printed Truths ➜ Windup World. There are a few exceptions I’ll explain when we get to them, but this is the general chronology I see these stories taking (as it is the order they appear on screen).

— Chapters of Note. Resleeved (II) and (III), Printed Truths (I), and Windup World (III) are the most important parts for my understanding of Sampo as he relates to MA. Resleeved (II) and (III) deal with experimentation and creation themes, as well as “breaking,” abandonment, and Organic Heart, while Printed Truths (I) sheds some light on the “cell printing” process of copying individuals. Windup World (III), on the other hand, is likely Sampo’s first or near-first interaction with the Tavern, centering on Elation, being used as a puppet, cruel jokes, and the origin of some of Sampo’s current worldviews.

— General Themes and Events. The reason Mundanite Assembly comes across as a giant Sampo lore drop to me is because of the themes and events it includes. Here are a few:

— Focus on truth and lies; being “created,” brought into the world, and/or stolen; being abandoned, discarded, and “broken” multiple times; advanced awareness; inhumane and dehumanizing experiments; Organic Heart; rage, anger, and vengeance, sometimes carried out in full; technological and mechanical links to Curio Hacker; Nihility, Erudition, and Elation imagery; slow shift in worldview to accommodate Elation-aligned vocabulary; focus on money, wealth, and knowledge; entire sub-section about being a thief; explicit interaction with the Tavern, as well as being literally puppeted around for a cruel joke.

— Elation. While this analysis is a departure from my previous, solely Elation-focused theories, I do still believe the Elation has been a large part of Sampo’s life. Just because Mundanite Assembly focuses on a time where Sampo had more to do with the Erudition, it doesn’t mean that Elation isn’t important as well — in fact, there is a pretty strong shift from Erudition to Elation by the end of Windup World (III).

— The time gap after the Tavern is not detailed in MA, but likely includes most of his experiences with the Elation, including how he became so close with the Masked Fools and potentially an Elation Emanator himself.

— Existence. After looking at the stories individually and as a whole, I’ve come to think Sampo has a sort of “curse” on him, a byproduct of his existence that leads him to repeat equally painful and doomed narratives through paradox. While each story may be completely unrelated, they share uncanny similarities in violence, betrayal, and “breaking.” It makes me think, despite certain outside presences, that Sampo is trapped in a “loop” of inevitability, which would be what the Masked Fool is divining in Windup World (III). There is also the chance that he is the “copy” of someone else, like in Printed Truths (I).

— Perspective. While I want to believe each story’s “you” is talking about the same, repeating protagonist due to thematic throughlines and narrative similarities, there are likely multiple perspectives at play here. Resleeved and Windup World for sure feel like Sampo to me, as well as Those Remembered and certain parts of Printed Truths, but Dousing Flames especially seems “outside” the perspective of whoever Sampo is or will become. I will detail what I think the perspective of each section is when I get to them!

— Rubert. Rubert is an interesting case, mostly due to the fact he canonically has a successor — Rubert II — who inherited his memories. I do believe the original Rubert is dead, as per what is mentioned in-game, but Rubert II has a lot more mystery surrounding him. It’s entirely possible that the “copying” mentioned in Printed Truths (I) has to do with copying Rubert himself, and Sampo is the resulting clone. Also, who knows, there could even be a “Rubert III” out there that no one knows about! There are a few incongruences I’ll talk about when I get to each part, and it does mess with the perspective of things a bit, but it’s a theory worth considering.

— Cover Art. The Great Lie is red with a jellyfish hidden within, and is cracked. (Interestingly enough, this reminds me of the Enigmata, and since it links to Sampo’s breaking, it makes me think maybe the Enigmata is why he’s so confusing! Keyword: Lie.) Those Remembered is a locked box with a keyhole opening. (Perhaps meant to symbolize both the Memory Unit and opening of “Pandora’s Box,” so to speak. Key word for “copying” memories: Remembered.) Resleeved features blue — a very notable color — leaves encasing metal insides. (Reminds me of Organic Heart, points towards a new form or “outward appearance” masking the circuitry underneath. Keyword for “reforging” or new forms: Resleeved.)

— Cover Art (Cont.). Dousing Flames looks like a miniature galaxy. (Representative of the discussions of quantum mechanics and theory, as well as the almost vast, unexplainable nature of Sampo’s potential copying and reincarnation. Keyword for hatred, fire feather on day five of the shop event, or the fire in “Cloud of Doubt”: Flames.) Printed Truths is a round puzzle with the last piece fitting into place. (Indicative of the “puzzle” of copying higher existence, as well as Sampo likely trying to gain knowledge about himself and the universe as well. Keyword for money: Printed.) Lastly, Windup World features a clock with its hands and time slots in oddly-sized and placed positions. (Similar to the strange way time and life seems to distort around Sampo, as well as the Masked Fool talking about divining his “future.” Keyword for doll or puppet status: Windup.)

— Repeating Lives. This is a tricky one, because not much of Sampo’s character implies the sort of “life cycles” I end up talking about here — it’s pretty new territory as far as Sampo theories are concerned. However, this lack of hinting could make sense if Sampo himself is confused or unaware about it; especially if, perhaps, this is a byproduct of his existence that is doomed to repeat over and over unbeknownst to him.

— In terms of what does make sense,though, repeating lives or some kind of “cycle” would explain why all MA stories have similar threads and themes despite occupying different times, characters, and biology, as well as why they all end in the same kind of breaking or misfortune. It also explains why the Masked Fool in Windup World (III) is so deliberately taunting about Sampo’s “future” and “divination.”

— There is also the possibility that he, as a memory storage device or “copied” being, is simply simulating or remembering these lives in his memory, with the memories originating from different sources before all finding their way to the same place — him.

— Personally, I believe the Masked Fool’s prophetic “joke” in Windup World (III) may be meant to simulate Sampo’s existence; a cycle doomed to repeat, the way he returns “unharmed” to his seat after delivering what should’ve been a killing blow, and the “nihilistic” nature of not truly having a choice in any of it. The only question is if he remembers all the lives he’s lived or not. (*Cough* Whatever the AetherTurbo Bookmark from the Shop Event symbolizes may be helping him retrieve these memories, likely given to him by the Elation. *cough*)

— If I could sum up all of this, every iteration, every cycle, as one word, it would be: misfortune.

Now, let’s get into the specifics of each part! (I will be formatting them as a bulleted list with some extra explanations.)

.✦ ── ✦.

The Great Lie

.✦ ── ✦.

“The Great Lie” focuses on a professor who, after their students and school turn on them believing Synesthesia Beacons and general knowledge to be evil, finds themself shuttled through a series of academic conflicts that result in an unemployed, broken, and lonely life begging outside the gates of their former workplace. (Notably, this mental brokenness includes repeating the lines “I am a liar” over and over again.)

— The first paragraph mentions the “Enigmata,” which is an interesting choice if we’re viewing MA as chronological and even cyclical. Even more interesting is that it isn’t mentioned again after The Great Lie, becoming too obscured by other forces like Erudition and Elation.

— Takes place at Palonglek University. “You” can be assumed to be a professor there teaching Basic Aeonic Theory.

— Introduces a core discussion about the Synesthesia Beacon, and how “original knowledge” often cannot be accessed, instead being found through the filter of the Beacon.

— “The only thing there was no room for, was knowledge.”

— Starts “in the cold darkness,” a running theme with a few of these sub-sections. This may be able to be interpreted as how Sampo’s life always begins — in a cold or dark place.

— School of Relative Cognition; very Erudition-coded.

— The professor — “you” — stands strong in their use of the Synesthesia Beacon, even when being threatened with dismissal. In the end, they give over their copper ring, either willingly or by force depending on what dialogue is chosen. They are replaced immediately after.

— Despite the “Erudition” front of the school, it seems to be veering into the Enigmata more than anything else, talking about how the Synesthesia Beacon is “evil” and implying the glorification of knowledge is dangerous.

— Some running themes to note: cold darkness, Erudition, Synesthesia Beacons, lack of choice (all options leading to the same outcome), and being abandoned, discarded, or replaced.

— This new situation of dismissal is compared to “a precious flower being uprooted from a greenhouse.”

— The theme of discarding and abandonment continues: the government halts their educational stipend, students cut off contact, and their family leaves.

— Now “you are all alone, forced to become an elementary school math teacher in a small town to survive.” This seems to mirror how Sampo, the lonely character that he is, finds himself in Belobog, a relatively small planet occupying a relatively specific niche.

— Arguments start up among students again, this time over simple, easy information. “You” lose your job once again, and even though there are two choices — write a letter of complaint or accept the fate silently — they both lead to the same end. Nothing changes.

— “Fools” are mentioned in both dialogue options: “Even an ant has a more objective view of reality than this army of fools.” Foreshadowing, perhaps?

— Interestingly enough, even though the immediate situation doesn’t change, the movement of Relative Cognition eventually wanes, but not without leaving its scars. The former professor, now unemployed, without a family, and potentially homeless, is found begging outside the Academy, repeating two significant lines.

— “Aeons are a lie. I am a liar, I am a liar…”

— By the end, the protagonist is not only broken materially and mentally, but spiritually.

— The repetition of lying and “I am a liar” is interesting, as Sampo is often referred to as a “liar,” if not by implication then by occurrences like Ship of Fools that position him outright as “a liar with negative credit.”

Conclusions:

— I am not sure where this fits chronologically — although I am tempted to say it is at the “beginning” of MA since it’s the first one on the screen, “Those Remembered” does seem like a more solid origin to me; of course, it could all be part of the cycle, and perhaps “The Great Lie” really is the first glimpse we see of a repeating “life” since things tend to be reset so often.

— Despite where and when it may fall, this chapter introduces several running themes, especially the cyclical nature of conflict, the illusion of “choice,” and most importantly, being abandoned, discarded, or broken.

— “I am a liar” definitely sticks out to me as well!

— I’m not sure where Rubert fits in here, as this professor seems to carry the same thematic “cycle” as the rest of the stories, but without any solid evidence as to being Rubert. It definitely seems to be the odd one out here, but maybe I’m missing something.

— Thus begins what I posit is Sampo’s repeating “life cycle”: cold darkness to awareness, the seeking or teaching of knowledge, separate “choices” made under the illusion of free will, and a series of conflicts or misfortunes that lead to being abandoned, discarded, or “broken” — either metaphorically or quite literally being killed. (In this case, it is the situational “brokenness” of the former professor’s material, spiritual, and psychological situation.)

.✦ ── ✦.

Those Remembered

.✦ ── ✦.

“Those Remembered” sees a T500 Quantum Memory Device buried and forgotten by the Candelographos in an attempt to save it from being destroyed by the History Fictionologists (affiliated with the Enigmata). In its time deep below the earth, it runs through the entire history of civilization, becoming extremely empathetic towards “humanity” and “civilization.” It is excited to be rediscovered.

— “Your race believes in a legend, that all things are born from chaos.” Reminds me of the Elation, the idea of “chaos” and “creation” having significant overlap!

— Nous is explicitly mentioned, creating this cycle’s link to Erudition.

— “You have waited endlessly in the chaos” — another point for the Elation.

— Once again, we begin in darkness. “Creation” is also present.

— The protagonist assumes the woman who appears is Nous, but she is later identified as Xiaoya, a scribe and student of a teacher who is also present.

— We are also given an explicit statement of identity for this protagonist; they are a “machine,” specifically a T500 Quantum Memory Device.

— Note: I am a bit unclear on the talk of Scepters here. I’m inclined to say the device is implied to be a Scepter, but the way things are worded is a bit weird, so it might not be one after all.

— “It is a life without love…” Although this is talking about the Candelagraphos, I do find the emotion of it interesting. In a way, it could also be applied to machines, to the stereotypes even in HSR’s present day that mechanical beings (like Intellitrons) are cold and unfeeling.

— The perspective warps when the memory device takes in its reflection: it becomes more distant. It’s not that it looks at itself and says “You are a square machine,” but rather that “You see a square machine,” almost as if having difficulty processing its identity as “not a person.”

— This is further supported by the “sudden realization” of identity, with one dialogue option even being to say it’s “A person that looks like a memory storage device.” If you pick that option, the Simulated Universe says it is incorrect.

— Either way, devoid of choice or free will, the machine is a machine, the “most powerful memory storage device to exist to date.” It can record all information on the planet.

— The setting for the first part is specified: The Candelographos research institute on Freya. Our protagonist has been sorting documents for ten years, before Xiaoya and her teacher ran away with it.

— “Your footsteps” is an intriguing phrase. It may be referring to the “group,” which includes Xiaoya and her teacher who are human, but the perspective means it could also be the device’s understanding of itself — still unwilling to believe it is purely a machine despite having no feet to walk on.

— Searching and running away are depicted as similar actions.

— Xiaoya and her teacher plan to bury T500 due to an ongoing hunt by the History Fictionologists; since the device can store all of the planet’s history, they want it to survive.

— “Plus, it’s the only one that exists.” Points to being “one-of-a-kind” (hehe, shop event reference!) and the uniqueness of a mechanical wonder or wonder of creation.

— “Having dug out a crater deeper than the height of a man.” Hmmmm. Makes me think some details are being talked around, so to speak. Footsteps, a human-height hole; despite the “smallness” of the original device, it almost seems as if it has some kind of human form now. It’s not explicitly mentioned, but the implications might just be there.

— Despite whatever dialogue you choose — “Bye” or “I don’t want to leave you” — they leave anyways. There is no choice in the matter, only fate, only inevitability. Once again, the protagonist is abandoned deep in the darkness, waiting and waiting and waiting for a reunion that will never come.

— Starting off in the dark again! (Although it is still a continuation of this “life”.)

— The memory device, spurred by a desire to understand a remark made in the last part, begins to pour over civilizational records, spending ten Amber Eras slowly learning the entire history of the planet, from stone tablets to the rise and fall of entire civilizations.

— Eventually, it reaches the names of Xiaoya and her teacher, realizing that they are long dead and only their names remain.

— “Humanity” and “civilization” are the answers to the question, and the device begins to harbor a deep compassion for them.

— (Note: “fools” is once again mentioned near the end.)

— Naïve excitement at the prospect of becoming known to the universe again.

Conclusions:

— The cycle starts anew: darkness, the illusion of choice, being abandoned. This time, it is advantageous, as the memory device is able to learn and develop compassion for humanity. (Perhaps this is where Sampo’s love for humanity comes from.)

— Due to the time spent underground, I feel like the next story, Resleeved, may be a continuation where the device is “found.” Or, it may be another cycle of life. There are no specific years or times given, so these events could be extremely far apart or incredibly close together. Who knows.

— I am not too familiar with the Scepters as a whole, but from what I can find on the wiki, the context seems to track as a chronological interpretation of MA!Sampo. (I’m still not sure about The Great Lie? Unless it is a prologue or takes place after Those Remembered in time.)

— Here, we see a device be “unboxed” during the time of the Scepters, then sealed deep underground to avoid destruction. As such, instead of being caught up in the conflicts of the time, it is given space to develop empathy, kindness, and enlightenment. I think it would be cool if Sampo is a Scepter (it would explain some of his powers and strange qualities), but the wording in the text is still unclear to me.

— Either way, there’s a large chunk of time where the device is able to sit and develop advanced awareness, much like in the “Ace Trash Digger” occurrence.

— Perhaps this is one of many “lives,” or just an advancing, singular consciousness that goes through a lot. It is also possible that these different events and stories could be simulated existences, things that are a part of Sampo yet aren’t. At the end of the day, my main point is that it’s all cyclical. (Even… Ouroboros in nature… (Sampo outfit and snake reference!))

— As for Rubert, I think this fits in as the “computer dumped in a trash pile” that became self-aware and, eventually, Rubert. Its memory storage very much matches the kind of intelligence that would interest Nous, although the “emotion” of everything doesn’t track. As far as what I’m interpreting, it seems the memory device grew fond for humanity — and by extension, organic life — committing itself to sharing the history of civilization with others. That doesn’t track with Rubert’s motive behind the Mechanical Emperor’s War; in fact, it almost seems to be the opposite. Still, I can’t ignore the thematic similarities. Maybe something happened along the way that drastically changed Rubert’s worldview.

.✦ ── ✦.

Resleeved

.✦ ── ✦.

“Resleeved” documents a thought-consciousness experiment carried out on an unknown participant wherein the subject is assimilated into different species’ biology. After being “broken” beyond repair due to the nature of the experiments, they are discarded, only to be met with yet another experiment — this time a transplant of Organic Heart — that also ends in failure. They presumably die after being shot through the chest.

— This is one of those exceptions where I don’t think the perspective is Sampo’s; instead, it seems to come from an outside storekeeper that has a conversation with (most likely) the doctor that carries out the experiments in Resleeved II and III.

— “… truth lies…” Cool way to include opposites in a grammatically correct sentence!

— “Fool” mention again. (This is getting to be a lot — I think this is the third time?)

— A scent compared to an “empty, lifeless ocean” is similar to darkness or the cold.

— Heavy themes of experimentation on a cosmic level.

— “How could there ever be truth born from foolishness?” Truth and fools once again.

— The idea of knowledge and wisdom being a “curse.”

— “An equivalent exchange cannot be reversed” also feels potentially pertinent to whatever Sampo has going on with Aha / the Elation.

— School of Evolutionary Perfection links to the perfectionism in The *Perfect* Grand Challenge.

— Generally, it seems that this doctor orchestrated a biological contamination outbreak that resulted in the conditions needed to have access to experimental patients.

— “127th awakening” implies a cyclical nature, potentially the ability to traverse different forms or lives.

— “A new character awaits every time you awake~” feels like it might be meant to represent Sampo’s situation — there are certainly many different situations at play in these stories, yet so many of them seem to carry the same cycle of darkness, experimentation, brokenness, and abandonment. These thematic elements would make sense if, similar to what this doctor is implying, Sampo has the ability to “reset” or occupy different lives in succession. In this way, the cycle would be inescapable, an ouroboros of tragedy he is forced to experience over and over no matter how many times he becomes someone “new.” (Also, this line is repeated several times, giving it some extra weight.)

— The experiment’s name is F0078. This could go back to the idea of Sampo having multiple names; it’s possible that, if Sampo isn’t one of the townspeople from part one, the memory device from Those Remembered was found by some… unsavory people.

— “Scholar, I am so cold” links to darkness and the cold.

— “I can take your thoughts from this experiment to use as the wick for the flames. Next time, I will be able to insert you into the Imperial Fragment.” I feel like this might shed some light on Sampo’s situation. There’s a good chance he personally hasn’t gone through all of these events himself, but rather remembers them as the result of thought combination or “copying.” Similar to the AetherTurbo Bookmark from his shop event, it gives the feeling of having done something without actually doing it. In truth, he might be an amalgamation of all these different perspectives having been used (or fused) into one, compact form.

— The next parts are blanked out, and I find this a little suspicious. It’s simulating the now-broken nature of the experiment — how they cannot process language properly anymore — but that also means we the reader do not get to see what “target species” they have turned into or what the results of the experiment were. If anything, this could be the cloning of Rubert, or even how Sampo got his humanoid form.

— “Endless silence” and darkness.

— “It is as if you have operated for ___ Amber Eras and been once again deleted by every ___.” Again, the blank spots are noticeable here. How many Amber Eras? If it’s ten, that would track with the “ten Amber Eras” the memory device spent processing in Those Remembered. “Once again deleted” could also refer to Rubert’s demise.

— Fortune versus tragedy — in the end, neither matter, because the ending is the same.

— “In the world of ___, emotions and judgments of value are merely absurd.” (The blank here could be Nous, or it could not.) This may also explain the difference between the “compassion” of the device in Those Remembered versus the emotional distance of Rubert and Rubert II. If, somehow, the memory device was the one cloned into Rubert II, then inheriting those memories may have been enough for a drastic emotional shift towards pure logic.

— (While it is possible this experiment is a townsperson, the cover art of Resleeved very much focuses on machinery being covered by an “organic” something, so I am leaning towards the memory device interpretation.)

— “Thought conduit ruptured” makes me think of the memory device too, as I don’t see the doctor wording it in this way if the subject was organic!

— “No longer fit for use” and “I suggest abandoning ___ and destroying all samples of this experimental batch if necessary” links to themes of abandonment, discarding, and brokenness. (Also, interesting how the name is blanked out. Wonder what it could be?)

— The mentions of time, space, and the strange limbo of shattered thought remind me of the Nihility, especially the “Liquid Flame in Void” Curio from the shop event talking about the abyss.

— Overall, in terms of Sampo, I see this as being one of the major experiments that turned him into who he is today; likely the “resleeving” of mechanical parts into an organic form. Whether this has anything to do with Rubert or not is up for interpretation. (Meaning, this “form” could have been how Rubert II inherited Rubert’s memories, or it could be a separate entity entirely.)

— The crying family and strange visitors that the protagonist doesn’t recognize could be the results of the experiment. If Sampo, potentially starting as the memory device, was combined with many different forms or consciousnesses, it’s possible the body he ended up with had a family — or even one of the merged consciousnesses could have one. This could explain why the family is there, but also why there’s no recognition to be had.

— However, “the little blood you have remaining still burns in your heart” feels more organic, but that could also be because he now has an organic form as a result of the experiments.

— Now that I think about it, Those Remembered’s memory device could have been Rubert, while Resleeved could have been a human or other townsperson being combined with said memory device, with the combination resulting in Sampo as Rubert II. 🤔

— “Death is my inevitable fate” seems very cycle-oriented to me, like no matter how many times a loop is repeated, it will always end the same.

— “My longing to survive still burns strong” may also point towards how, despite inevitability, Sampo will always try to keep going (i.e. rewards and costs and deals to survive).

— “A little cardiac burning is not sufficient to halt your progress towards evolutionary perfection” also points towards the mechanical merged with the organic, as if the subject was previously a machine (and one preoccupied with “perfection,” which tracks with Rubert) but now finds themself in an organic form with “cardiac burning” — i.e. a heart.

—The fangs and rust-scented claws could point towards a borisin? I’m not sure how many other intelligent creatures we’ve met would match that description.

— Organic Heart (beating fruit) baby let’s go!!!!!

— For those that don’t know, Organic Heart is a Curio that the mysterious blue-haired entity offers us in the Curio Hacker occurrence; I’ve talked about it in my Simulated Universe Analysis, but Organic Heart here is basically a direct link to Sampo for me! (Which is why I’m quite sure, regardless of any perspectives beforehand, that Resleeved II and III’s perspective is Sampo’s.)

— After having the heart transplanted, the protagonist begins to recover, eventually feeling “too strong.” Plus their blood literally begins to boil, ouch!

— At first, I thought the “Mock Crimson Moon” reference may imply the subject’s new body is borisin, or at least affected in similar ways, but Mock Crimson Moon is actually a Weighted Curio in Divergent Universe that causes enemies to receive Fire DoT “Necrosis” after being attacked by Abundance characters. Due to the subject’s fits of madness under the moon, it is very much still possible there’s some borisin biology going on, but it’s also possible that “Mock Crimson Moon”s specific reference could be due to the blood boiling or the Necrosis of being used in experiments. I’m not entirely sure where to draw the line, but these are my thoughts!

— When the experiment, once again, is concluded to be a failure, the figure from the beginning shoots the subject through the chest. Death is implied.

— I’m not sure what the reference to the Intelligentsia Guild means either, it feels somewhat vague.

— Resleeved (III) may be meant to show a one-off experiment that really did die, but it seems strange that Organic Heart is present given that Sampo’s Curio Hacker occurrence has it too.

— Plus, the allusions to perfection, experimentation, and the melding of mechanical and organic very much line up with some of my Sampo theories.

— Who knows, maybe this was just another perspective added to the consciousness mashup that is Sampo Koski?

Conclusions:

— Heavy themes of perfection, experimentation, and being discarded remind me of Sampo.

— Additionally, the cycle repeats again: darkness, misfortune, abandonment, breaking.

— Resleeved (I) seems to be from an outside perspective, while (II) and (III) are likely the same subject.

— The subject’s disorientation in Resleeved (III) seems to imply that whatever happened in (II) messed with their consciousness so bad they can’t remember the people in the room with them — this may be because of the resulting thought combination between species.

— Many details are omitted at the end of (II), which may imply a connection with the memory device (potentially Rubert) from Those Remembered.

— If the subject really did die at the end of (III), in order for them to continue into the rest of Mundanite Assembly’s parts, they either didn’t really die, started another “cycle” or life, or were assimilated into the growing amalgamation of consciousness that is Sampo Koski.

— I also did want to note that Resleeved very much reminds me of the mythological Sampo, especially pertaining to creation, abandonment, and breaking.

.✦ ── ✦.

Dousing Flames

.✦ ── ✦.

In “Dousing Flames,” Scholar Cholkov and our protagonist are in proximity to the Perpetual Motion Project, which takes place during the Interstellar Energy War and, despite having promise on the outset, is eventually destroyed because it can’t keep up with the costs.

— The setting is Pier Point’s technological research and development department.

— “Research into the possibility of infinite energy sources” reminds me of quantum energy and the Ship of Fools occurrence, where the “broken mask” is mentioned to have made the Kuvida Nebula a dead zone after offering a solution for its energy problem.

— “Honesty just so happens to be a prerequisite for truth” reminds me a lot of the way Sampo handles truth and lies.

— “Another boring line that makes you yearn for sleep,” a little bit Elation-aligned.

— The perspective is of an engineer, specifically one that has made “innovations in the area of material engineering,” even developing a product based on an ultra nanocloth they invented. Someone selling products… sounds familiar.

— Also, the original purpose of the nanocloth was for advertisement printing, specifically to plaster billboards in the sky so people could look up to see them. Also sounds… very familiar……

— However, the product was never truly produced because the higher-ups said, and I quote, “The costs outweigh the benefits.” This may be where Sampo began to become preoccupied with risk and reward, cost and benefit. The sentiment very much mirrors his own in that regard.

— “Permanently solving an energy crisis” again reminds me of “Kuvida’s energy.”

— “It’s time to go to the canteen and recharge” is a specific combination of mechanical and organic, much like the previous experiments in Resleeved. “Canteen” implies drinking (something we know Sampo likes to do), an organic activity, while “recharge” is generally associated more with mechanical devices and electricity.

— The only thing is: I’m not sure how he got from point A (the end of Resleeved, being shot) and point B (here in Dousing Flames, working as an engineer). Perhaps that isn’t something we’re supposed to know yet, though, since all six of these Mundanite Assembly “chapters” are simply small blips in a potentially very long state of consciousness.

— The first paragraph is extremely Nihility-aligned, even reminding me directly of the Horizon of Existence with its monochrome color scheme, infinite expanse, and “boundary line.”

— Despite being clarified as the Technology Department’s “Perpetual Motion Project,” the resemblance is uncanny.

— A Scepter is mentioned, meaning these events are still taking place around when they would be active.

— “But, there shall come a day when the stars will be extinguished.” Very ominous and Finality-aligned!

— The Interstellar Energy War is mentioned, also placing it in proximity to Rubert; according to the wiki, this seems to be around the time right after Rubert’s death.

— You have two dialogue options here, either to express optimism or pessimism for the future of the technology. Notably, the pessimism option heavily features how the Intelligentsia Guild is only focused on profit, as most ideas are ruled “garbage inventions” and likely discarded.

— Already, we have themes of experimentation, abandonment, and, interestingly enough, profit thrown into the mix as well.

— Eventually, the Perpetual Motion Project is declared a failure, and the formerly constructed sails are destroyed since the plan wasn’t worth the costs.

— In this case, the protagonist is the one destroying the sails, although one dialogue option reads “They forced me.”

— In the end, Scholar Cholkov passes away, and the protagonist leaves a flower wrapped in their ultra nanocloth invention in front of his grave.

— Notably, both our perspective “you” and Cholkov are described to have grey hair and wrinkled faces, meaning they’ve both aged considerably. I’m not sure what to make of this; it’s possible that if Sampo is subject to repeating or resetting “life cycles,” then this would be just another one nearing its end, ready to start anew. However, other options are that this is simply another consciousness in the “soup,” a different perspective entirely, or a metaphor meant to show a similar cycle as it happens to a different individual.

— Either way, the focus on profit and “costs versus benefit” is not lost on me!

Conclusions:

— I really want to say I see connections to MA!Sampo here (especially since it takes place during the Interstellar Energy War and ties to him have been present in so many other parts of MA), but it really is possible that this is an entirely different perspective.

— There is, however, still quite a running theme of abandonment, destruction, and even some Nihility in here.

— If this does have something to do with Sampo, I can see his emphasis on profit and risk forming during this time!

— Overall, I don’t see any huge implications for his backstory, other than a potential reference to the “energy” mentioned in relation to the Kuvida Nebula in Ship of Fools.

.✦ ── ✦.

Printed Truths

.✦ ── ✦.

“Printed Truths” introduces the idea of a “printing” project, wherein individuals are copied or cloned into identical forms. When issues of Path power arise, a scholar sets out to find an Emanator to (assumedly) copy. Later, a thief eats a synthetic Curio apple and is sentenced to death. The school that housed the original project moves into a new era of working with the Council of Mundanites (or an association of bright minds).

— Printed Truths (I) is another exception where I feel the perspective is not directly related to Sampo; instead, it seems to come from an outside committee of scholars discussing (more like arguing) over a “printing” project.

— Essentially, this project is meant to “copy” the Path power and memories of specific individuals through cell printing. Most of this text is discussion over how Path powers may (or may not) carry over, mainly attempting to figure out how to get them to match up as they need to.

— Several solutions are proposed as to why this certain copy doesn’t have Path power, like “because the original is still present,” “the problem lies in their memories,” and “perhaps you need to deceive the Aeon.”

— This leads to talk of eliminating “the original,” getting the Garden of Recollection’s help, and even working with The Riddlers. (Keep in mind The Riddlers for later.)

— (Also, note: If I remember correctly, the original Rubert’s death has some mystery surrounding it, as there are a few different ideas as to what happened. Since this grey area seems to be present, perhaps these scholars really did find a way to “eliminate the original.” Just speculation!)

— Eventually, the project is terminated, but not without the scholar in charge of it having an epiphany and realizing she needs to find an Emanator (potentially to copy).

— This scholar does disappear at the end, leading me to wonder if she really did go on a search for that Emanator — perhaps she also found one, and perhaps Sampo is the resulting copy? (Since Rubert was part of the Genius Society, I would also assume he might have been an Emanator as well. 👀)

— This is for sure a Sampo perspective if there ever was one. With how Printed Truths (I) ended, I am tempted to say this might be him as a copy of someone else (likely an Emanator, potentially Rubert). Also, this is a bit of a crack theory, but I do find it really funny that Aha Themself might’ve let Themself be copied.

— Our protagonist is a thief breaking into the farm of a wealthy resident.

— “Bringing the moonlight with you” reminds me of the moon in Resleeved (III).

— Interestingly, fruit is present here, with the thief attempting to steal it and being forced to kill the old man holding it before the old man could fire his gun. The thief then eats it.

— Apparently, this fruit was a synthetic Curio, and when the thief is arrested, the court eventually decides to kill them because of all the research they destroyed in the process of eating it.

— The only way out would’ve been to prove some legitimate change occurred after ingesting the fruit, but the dialogue offers no such option.

— “My digestive system has run smoothly” reminds me of a machine “running” or “processing.”

— It also reminds me of Sampo mentioning how to complain about your dinner in the shop event, as “complaining” about the apple may have saved the thief’s life in this instance by producing worthwhile information.

— “… comically murdered by you.” Elation is beginning to seep in to these stories more and more.

— The time is implied to be around the Scholars’ Strife.

— The thief is then shot through the head, and synthetic Curio technology remains unavailable. I find this interesting because in Sampo’s pop-up event, we are literally helping him create synthetic Curios. A little irony, if you will.

— My main confusion is that, although the thief is not explicitly said to have died, getting shot in the head with a bullet sure implies it. Once again, I’m not sure how Point A connects to Point B. This has Sampo written all over it, yet the thief still dies at the end. The only explanation is that either Sampo has a way of coming back to life, “resetting,” or something similar.

— Or, perhaps since Organic Heart has been involved in all of these experiments (like in Resleeved and this section of Printed Truths), if it somehow found its way to Sampo maybe he got the memories of everyone involved. Just an idea!

— In this section, a young scholar named Chrystella attempts to get older scholars to listen to her thoughts on age, passion, knowledge, and “research pragmatism.”

— These dialogue options stick out to me: “The mysteries of infinite space-time?” “True ultimate intelligence?” “The engine of a perfect society?” I don’t have many deep thoughts, but I just wanted to point these out.

— She also mentions how the scholars once “chased Arblad out,” which means this is the same setting as Printed Truths (I) but at a later time. Presumably, the chronology goes in sequence: (I) shows Arblad discussing the printing project, (II) likely shows a resulting creation disrupting the Curio process, and (III) shows the School of Pure Creation moving into a “new era.”

— “Perhaps we do not need to completely drain this school of its blood. Maybe we just need a little transfusion.” Reminds me of Resleeved’s experiments, especially (III) when it specifically mentions blood. Might be a mirror to what happened in those experiments, “transfusion” of consciousness rather than complete draining, or maybe it’s nothing.

— The Council of Mundanites is also mentioned by name, which also links to the name of the entire Unknowable Domain section “Mundanite Assembly.” Essentially, the Council, and especially the name of Mundanite Assembly, is likely meant to convey the converging of the brightest minds in the Guild. On a larger scale, perhaps all six of these “chapters” are meant to represent the wonders of creation that occurred during this time period, complete with Rubert, the Scepters, and whatever or whoever Sampo ends up being.

Conclusions:

— Printed Truths (I) and (III) are likely outside perspectives of scholars in the School of Pure Creation, relating specifically to events surrounding “copying,” cell printing, and the creation of individuals who share the same physiological functions. I believe Printed Truths (II) to be the perspective of a resulting creation, perhaps the copy of an Emanator or even Aeon Arblad was able to make after she left in Printed Truths (I). With this perspective explicitly being a thief, as well as the “comical” aspects of the situation, I believe this perspective to be related to Sampo if not Sampo himself.

— The only thing that doesn’t make sense is the death at the end of Printed Truths (II), but I suppose that could be explained by Path, Emanator, or otherwise experimental power. It could also be explained by Organic Heart, which may have memory-storing or transferring properties.

— Printed Truths (II) also takes place at night (darkness), and through a series of ironic misfortunes leads to death or otherwise “breaking.”

— I am not sure how this all stacks up to the Sampo we know today, but I do think the similarities are there. (Again, large gaps of time and all.)

.✦ ── ✦.

Windup World

.✦ ── ✦.

“Windup World” chronicles a butterfly effect death that occurs during an attempt at revenge, where the protagonist is burned alive while watching and waiting to see what happens to their nemesis, then into a “paradox” of code during an experiment where a Scepter tries to predict the end of a miniature civilization. Eventually, a Masked Fool at the Tavern uses our protagonist for an “opening act,” making them divine their future as a wooden puppet in the palm of the Fool’s hand, then eventually “kill” themself in front of a live audience.

— This is where we get a bit “red-string-board”y, so buckle up!

— This is another perspective I see as being Sampo, and here is where I think things start to come together.

— First, my thesis: Despite all the deaths that occur throughout Mundanite Assembly, I believe the protagonist (Sampo, in this case), has memories of Resleeved, which causes him to enact revenge on the doctor who subjected him (or who he remembers to be him) to those experiments.

— This revenge could, in all actuality, be towards someone else or a random different plot point, but this is what I feel connects Mundanite Assembly’s different parts the best.

— As for the story itself, it details the protagonist approaching an old scholar (potentially one we’ve seen in another part) and asking for help with revenge.

— The old scholar refers to himself as a “relic of a past generation,” which implies he might be the older scholar from Dousing Flames (III) — in this case, Dousing Flames may not be Sampo’s perspective at all, but rather the one of the scholar he eventually comes to for revenge. Just speculation!

— However, the man is also implied to be… more than human, in a way? The butterfly effect is heavily referenced here (as it has stood in the background for most of these stories), and the man seems to know exactly what to do to help our protagonist start the fire that eventually engulfs both them and the target.

— “Expanding and contracting, taking in a releasing, like the wings of a butterfly or the spinning of a loom.” This doesn’t seem very “normal” to me, so it’s possible this old man is a special case or even someone with Path or Emanator power.

— “With faith, the removal of a single nail can topple an entire empire.” Very big implications, perhaps speaking from experience? I feel like it’s referencing Rubert’s empire, but not exactly from the perspective of Rubert himself.

— A crow is nestled on the windowsill; reminds me of the bird from Everlasting Hatred.

— “A perfect assassination” occurs, and through the butterfly effect the protagonist’s nemesis is burned alive, though not before the flames reach the protagonist and burn them alive too.

— Again, death occurs, but it still feels very… Sampo to me? So much of his character revolves around hidden hatred, betrayal, and implications of revenge that it seems strange to me that, if Sampo is involved in MA, this wouldn’t be at least tangentially related to him. Perhaps the old man really was him instead? Or again, if he can “reset,” perhaps he is just moving onto his next “life.”

— Once again with inevitability, as no matter what you do or what you choose, it all leads back to the butterfly effect, back to the flames and death.

— Interestingly enough, the “Cloud of Doubt” Clown’s Item shows a door burning, similar to the protagonist burning alive here.

— It also seems to say something about how this protagonist went so far to achieve revenge that it destroyed them too, much like Icarus flying too close to the sun.

— If this isn’t Sampo, I feel like it is at least a warning he should heed in the future.

— This part deals mainly with “predicting” the end of a miniature civilization (Sandpit Civilization 013) with the help of a Scepter.

— “You think that this so-called legacy is enough to filter clarity from chaos?” What is the legacy here? It reminds me a bit of “Rubert’s Legacy” that Rubert II inherited.

— “The trigger of this great war is the death of a governor’s concubine in the Second Empire, who drinks poison. The war ends 17 years later as it is proven that her cup was never poisoned. The source of the poisoning was a copper label that was inside the barrel that dyed the entire barrel’s content jade green.”

— This is a particularly notable quote because the dialogue options are either, “What an absurd story” or “It’s like looking in a mirror.” Assuming that our perspective here may yet again be Sampo (or someone directly related), we now know that something about this story is connected. In the protagonist’s eyes, this “fake poisoning” due to misdirection — or rather, false assumptions made based on appearance — is relatable to their own situation.

— For Sampo, I wonder if this means he has been mistaken for someone horrible before, despite the fact it’s all on the surface. Appearance-wise, this could be because he shares an appearance with Rubert or even Aha Themself, leading people to assume the worst of him despite the fact the majority of what he shares is in harmless appearance (or what he perceives to be so).

— It is also possible that this is meant to imply certain conflicts or wars were not always what they seemed, and who may have been deemed the “bad guy” may have only been based on false assumptions.

— Additionally, when the protagonist specifically attempts to use the Scepter to predict the future of Civilization 013, it malfunctions and extrapolates out into a “mess of code” that, if deciphered, would cause a “paradoxical loop.” Again, hear me out, but what if our protagonist (Sampo) is meant to be referenced by this code and “paradoxical loop.”

— I’m starting to think that maybe, as a result of the cloning process or something similar, he created a paradox within the universe simply by existing, causing him to loop over and over (potentially like Resleeved’s experiments, the thief’s death, and the “revenge” death). This could also explain the thematic commonalities of misfortune, butterfly effect, and breaking — no matter what he does, the paradox is inevitable.

— Things also go back to normal when the other person present, Prados, intervenes. Although he does things a bit differently and the gist is that there is some interference with the Scepter itself, it still interests me that the “paradox” exists for our protagonist only.

— “This is editing” also implies messing with the base function of the device itself. (A bit similar to “printing,” might I add.)

— The “answer” is also implied to be linked to Terminus, and yeah, I haven’t mentioned it much yet but the Finality is definitely at play throughout all these stories. It makes me wonder how it works into everything.

— The edited version is published, and Civilization 014 begins.

— I do want to note the numbers here; they could mean nothing, but it also makes me think of “loops.” Leaving out The Great Lie as a potential prologue, there are thirteen stories from Those Remembered (I) to Windup World (I). Windup World (III) is number fourteen. Again, it could be nothing, but it just makes me think of cycles, and stories, and how the paradox of 013 is ignored in favor of marching straight on to 014. Just something to think about!

— Finally, we have reached the main course! If I had to pick only one story I thought was directly from Sampo’s perspective, it would be Windup World (III) without a shadow of a doubt. Actually, when viewing it through the lens of MA!Sampo, it ties up things quite nicely (at least for Star Rail, who loves being cryptic).

— Generally, here is what I’m picking up: Masked Fools, World’s End Tavern specifically, potentially Sampo’s first time at the Tavern, being puppeted around for a joke, death and “breaking,” divination and predicting the future.

— We start off in what can reasonably be assumed as the World’s End Tavern, watching a Masked Fool introduce a new comedy. Given the “confusing and bewildering” qualities of their voice, as well as the confusion expressed by our protagonist throughout this section, I also believe it may be their first time here.

— The Fool also mentions they have retrieved “a lost period of The Riddlers’ history and edited it into a miniature comedy” for the Tavern’s entertainment. I find this intriguing because The Riddlers have been mentioned all throughout MA, especially in Those Remembered when the memory device was hidden from History Fictionologists.

— Additionally, Printed Truths (I) sees the team wonder about working with The Riddlers on the cell printing project; I wonder if that part actually ended up happening.

— “Lost period” of history also catches me, because it again reminds me of how the memory device and potential resulting copies seem to be left behind, discarded, or lost for large periods of time. “Edited” also goes back to the idea of cell editing and prediction editing.

— It almost makes me think Sampo is meant to be the subject of this; that, despite being the opening act, the comedy was always implicating him in a way. He was always the main attraction. Or, perhaps, he was simply meant to “open” for it in the way that period of time blossomed into its own “butterfly effect” of tangentially-related events like the rise of Nanook far beyond the original war.

— Dialogue options: “I want to glimpse the foul deeds to the Gods,” “I wish to admire the folly of a genius,” “I wish to taste the rage of an actor.” All of this seems to be present throughout MA, and I feel like it relies on general themes — wonders and unnatural experiments, genius taken too far, projects created and fought over and discarded, revenge and rage from hurt parties.

— (It is possible that when the masked man says, “your requests shall be no challenge,” the resulting actions are simply meant to be just that: a recreation of the general themes of Mundanite Assembly’s timeline. However, I feel things are rarely that simple with Star Rail, and much of the specific wording and implications of this scene are… a lot for Sampo, so I think it may be a double-meaning kind of situation. As Sampo loves to so often do, there’s a good chance that this scene is meant to be symbolic of something he maybe doesn’t even know about himself.)

— A beam of light puts him in the spotlight; the main attraction, if you will.

— “Shocked, you realize that you have been transformed into a wooden puppet in the palm of his hands.” Links to Sparkle’s light cone where Sampo is a puppet, as well as all of *gestures vaguely* everything Sampo has going on with Doll Theory. Simply put, he has many implications of lack of agency and being “puppeted” around, so this situation makes a lot of sense in that regard.

— “You are a scholar who firmly believes that the future is a code that can be calculated.” Beyond the general ties to the MA time period’s obsession with knowledge, this also connects to Curio Hacker and the pop-up shop’s day seven Curio with code in the background. This line may also be alluding to Sampo as someone who is or used to be someone with a similar mindset.

— “Why can it not be a drink glass or a star chart?” The drink glass is notable due to Sampo’s habit of liking to drink.

— The protagonist then goes from a “scholar” to a “babbling, eccentric diviner,” and the Fool mentions how it’s a little “heavy-handed” but better than that “old pedant.” Could be nothing, or heavy-handed could be a double reference to Sampo’s identity and old pedant could be a reference to Rubert or the other, specific scholars we’ve seen. In fact, it could even be a way of saying Sampo, as a copy or clone, may be “better” or more “fun” than the original.

— Here comes the big part.

— “Divine your own future,” the Fool says.

— In the context of the “joke,” this could be a shallow pretension, but it could also be an order. If this Fool possesses Aeonic, Emanator, or even Path power, they may have the ability to genuinely have someone see into their own future. Everything from here on out could, conceivably, be Sampo genuinely predicting his future.

— So, what is divined? Death, as always. The star chart says the protagonist will die in the Tavern in one minute, by their own hand.

— The Fool asks what our protagonist will do. The dialogue options are: “I will take my own life,” “I have to take my own life,” or “Why don’t I get a choice?”

— “You,” apparently, have been drawn into the trap of Finality. After strangling themself and exploding into a colorful burst of stars in front of everyone, the protagonist returns to their seat, unharmed.

— “Though a healer can heal themselves, a diviner cannot tell their own future. If our universe is but a great diviner, once they glance their own destiny, would they not simply end their own lives?”

— The Fool then introduces “The Decline of Quantum History.”

— Man, that’s a lot! In terms of Sampo, if we are interpreting this as a potential, true divination of his own future, here is what I think this is saying: he is trapped in a cyclical loop — or “paradox” — of misfortune, death, and “breaking.” He does not have a choice in this. Despite, for the first time in MA, actually asking in awareness, “Why don’t I have a choice?” there is still no choice to be had. He hurts himself, simply by means of existing. It is visceral, and inescapable. He may have the ability to “reset” or “heal,” but telling his own future is a different ballpark, and knowing — truly knowing — the extent of his repeating fate would cause nothing but depression and despair. His end will likely happen due to his own “butterfly effect” decisions.

— It is also possible that, if Sampo really has nothing to do with this, he is instead the Masked Fool playing the joke, although there is no way to know for sure.

— I am still leaning towards our perspective as Sampo, though, if not just because of the being turned into a literal wooden puppet.

— Perhaps this puppet is itself a symbol of prophecy, as Doll!Sampo could still be a very real thing in the (potentially large) time gap between Windup World (III) and present day. In that case, Sampo being turned into a doll (or doll equivalent) by Aha could be similar to him being “stolen” or even “reset.”

— Overall, yeah, there’s a lot to be had here! Also, I just want to say how fucked up that joke was. It makes me think Sampo’s view of treating everyone with dignity and looking sideways at the Fools may have to do with this event, or something close to it. After all, if he was used for a joke like this — literally made to kill himself (approximately) for the entertainment of others — I feel that would shift his views quite a bit. (Though, we still don’t know how he felt after: Traumatized? Angry? Elated? Free? Maybe all at once. Sure makes for a compelling soup of emotions to convince him to keep coming back to the Tavern.)

Conclusions:

— Windup World (III) may be Sampo’s first time at the Tavern, being puppeted around for a joke having, potentially, to do with his identity or previous identities intertwined with the events of Mundanite Assembly as a whole.

— The “joke” itself may even have a double, prophetic meaning for a cycle he finds himself trapped in or actions he will take in the future, such as being treated as a toy or dying by his own hand.

.✦ ── ✦.

Extra

.✦ ── ✦.

— “Pusuit’s End” is what you get after completing all of Mundanite Asembly. It’s a key, and can be used to increase heat in the Workbench of Creation. Personally, I think it could refer to several different things (like Polka Kakamond or other members of the Intelligentsia Guild / Erudition), but if we’re talking about what’s most relevant to MA, I have a feeling it could reference Arblad’s “printing” experiment.

— “The infinite layers of nutshells encase the ruler of the universe, yet even so, she continues to turn the key, opening the next door indefinitely.” This sounds similar to Arblad’s determination to copy Path power in Printed Truths (I). “Pursuit’s End” may hint at her finding a way to achieve what she wanted, and increasing the heat at the Workbench of Creation could further strengthen the connection between this item and “creation.”

— In the case of Arblad, Sampo might have been this “creation” that finally achieved what she wanted — or, simply one in a long line of attempts.

— “Imperfect Scholar” is the achievement you get for completing Mundanite Assembly. I think it moreso deals with the general themes of the era, but “imperfect” also reminds me of The *Perfect* Grand Challenge’s focus on perfection!

— Just wanted to make a note of this!

.✦ ── ✦.

Conclusion

.✦ ── ✦.

Overall, what do I take away from all this?

— Perspective. I believe, at the least, Windup World (III) is from Sampo’s perspective. If we’re going with a “copying” or printing theory beyond that, I would say Those Remembered, Resleeved (II) and (III), Printed Truths (II), and Windup World (I) are his perspective. This would account for the memory device’s (potentially Rubert, an Emanator Sampo could have been copied from) experiences, as well as the experiments with species changing and Organic Heart’s transplantation, the thief’s consumption of (assumedly) Organic Heart and their eventual death, and the butterfly effect “revenge” death of being burned alive. Windup World (III) would bring things together into a more present-day situation, where Sampo may or may not have these spliced memories.

— I am also inclined to believe Windup World (II) could be his perspective because of the paradox code.

— This means The Great Lie (which I am still not 100% sure on), Resleeved (I), Dousing Flames, and Printed Truths (I) and (III) are outside, non-Sampo-related perspectives taking place as context for the events of the experiments going on at the time. Arblad especially is notable, since she presumably left to find an Emanator to copy.

— Timeline. If we are going with the most robust theory for MA!Sampo, I would say that he, in this form now, was created in between Printed Truths (I) and (II) when Arblad likely found someone to copy. If this someone was Rubert, then Sampo — again, Printed Truths (II) — would have the memories of Those Remembered and Resleeved (II) and (III). Going forward, he would die after eating the apple, but, perhaps due to some kind of paradoxical existence, find himself back in the loop of consciousness for Windup World (I). He would be burned alive, then returned for either Windup World (II) or Windup World (III), depending on how much (II) might actually apply to him. Then, Windup World (III) would be his first time at the Tavern. In the time after, he likely became more familiar with the Fools, leaving room for Elation-centered events like gaining his mask, becoming an Emanator, or even potentially being turned into or treated as a doll by Aha.

— Themes. Generally, MA sets up Sampo with a horribly tragic cycle of mistreatment. Abandonment, loneliness, hopelessness, darkness, dehumanization, death, and “breaking.” It’s all there. The worst part is he can’t even seem to escape it, much less understand it. The butterfly effect prevents him from finding a different path to take, inevitability chains him down, and the loop of it all makes sure it happens over and over and over again. No wonder that Fool remarks how the universe would kill itself if it knew its own future. If MA!Sampo, Printed!Sampo, or Rubert!Sampo (RubertII!Sampo? RII!Sampo? R.II!Sampo? What’s a good name for this? LOL.) ends up being true, then his story is incredibly bleak. His future is incredibly bleak. Perhaps that’s why he’s with the Elation — potentially with Aha Themself. He just wants to find a way out.

— Thanks for reading this far, I hope this made more sense than my Pop-Up Shop Analysis (I felt like I had a clearer head writing this)! Hopefully it’s also been able to put some things in perspective. I’m not completely sold on this (or any) theory because of how much wiggle room there is, but I feel like it could at least be a solid one to add to the more popular theories! Anyways, I’ll leave you with some key questions to think about!

.✦ ── ✦.

Key Questions

.✦ ── ✦.

— Who is Sampo? Is he a cell printed copy of an Emanator or Aeon (potentially Rubert or Aha)? Is he a mesh of mechanical and organic creation, doomed to repeat loops of misfortune due to the paradox of his existence? Is he an experiment gone wrong?

— How does Sampo’s “consciousness” work? Has he inherited the memories of past experiments or copies? Does he have partial or full amnesia?

— Which parts of Mundanite Assembly might be memories Sampo has? Those Remembered? Resleeved (II) and (III)? Printed Truths (II)? Windup World? If so, which might be memories simply “copied” over, and which are memories he himself has experienced?

— Are the Masked Fools helping or hurting him? (Or, perhaps both?) Are they helping him free himself and release the bottled up despair of being trapped in a horrible loop? Or are they leading him further into a cycle of self-harm that can only end horribly?

— What might have happened “in between gaps” of time, especially after Windup World (III)? Was he noticed by Aha afterwards? Has he since become a “doll,” or even been stolen?

— How does the Finality play into things? It’s mentioned quite a bit in MA, but how does it slot in with the Erudition, Elation, or even Sampo’s specific situation?

— thanks for reading to the end !! :)

— an extra meme i couldn’t fit in this post!

© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[psycheetamore]

Another escape, another hunt 

Summary: Our lord has managed to get his Fremen prey into his palace. But she will not succumb to his desires so easily, even if her body wishes to do so. How he loves his game.

Tags: MDNI, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen Is His Own Warning, anticipation of smut, predator/prey - the author regrets nothing

Part 2 of 6 of my contribution to the predator/prey thrope for Kinktober of @lady-phasma - nr 1-4 are chapters of 1 story (1-3 Feyd/OC hunt related, nr 4 is the reward for our lord), and nr 5-6 is me sharing my favourite chapter that I have written to date with the hunt between Rabban/OC. The 6 bits will be posted through daily posts.

Word count: 1.8k

Losely based on chapter 11 of Choosing to Follow Destiny

His slaves were standing outside of his quarters, as the na-Baron sought entrance. 

“Is she readied?” 

“My Lord…” and the slave paused. “My lord, we could not get the cuffs on” as she fell to her knees and started to grovel asking for forgiveness.  

He kicked her to the floor and proceeded: “you are lucky. I am in a good mood.” 

Several minutes ago, the terrified slaves that had dressed the new interest of the lord Harkonnen, locked her up in a separate room in his quarters. It did not take a lot of effort to force the lock. She felt vulnerable, dressed in clothing that did not deserve that word considering how little of her frame it covered and that could be meant only for ladies of the Harkonnen night. Feeling the mark he had left on her neck, which seemed to have been treated. Her braids loosened to have her long black hear flow across her back. Horrible shackles the slaves tried to put on her. She could not allow herself to think what he was planning to do. For her sanity, and to keep control over her physical urges that seemed to long for him. She could still feel his strong fingers gracing her lips. Yet, it could not distract from the recognition that she needed to move. The longer she was in his vicinity, the more difficult it would be to escape.  

Feeling her heart throb in her throat, against the healing wound he had left, she surveyed his chambers for any weapons or other tools that could help her gain some leverage. But it did not come at a surprise that nothing was present. It could not be anything else than that he prepared for roaming around here. Fear started to seep into her bones as she started to understand the gravity of the situation she was facing. The second-best option was looking for heavy blunt objects. Something that could allow her to issue a blow and try to get away. As she was scouring as quickly as she could for such objects, she heard him arrive and talk on the other side of the door. She grabbed a plaid laying over his bed and scooted softly to hide in the darkness next to the door.  

She noticed a body drop and the door opening. This was her one chance. As he walked in, she threw the plaid over his head and pushed him, making room to run away.  

Surprisingly, he was disconnected for a blink of a moment, just enough. She did not wait for a second opportunity, and dashed.  

The hallways were as dark as his room, the night having fallen and scarcely lit. There was no distinction between the left and the right side of the hallway, so intuitively she took off to the left. 

From a distance she heard him shouting: “run. Run as far as you can. Challenge me. We both know you will end up chained to my bed.” Shivers flowed over her back. 

She ran and ran. She should find some light coming from the moons anytime now. That would give her guidance on where to go. It felt like she ran for hours, probably mere minutes. Corridors went up and down. What was this place other than a maze, she thought, completely lost and getting out of breath. Functioning on pure adrenalin she forgot her fatigue and anything else holding her back. She just ran. 

Suddenly she heard footsteps coming from a corridor she was running towards. With muted steps she backed up against the wall, carefully peaking around the corner. A chance to sip some air, and perhaps more. A guard, dressed in a black Harkonnen uniform, was paroling. He did not seem to be on high alert. Perhaps her escape did not yet reach everyone. She pressed herself against the wall, waiting for the guard to walk past, so she could overtake him. Completely oblivious the guard walked past her. It took her one well-placed kick to the backside of his knees to get him to fall on the ground. He fell on his hands and knees, but it still made a terrible noise. This would surely attract other guards or Feyd-Rautha himself, so she immediately started kicking him to the head, bruising her feet, adrenaline masking the pain it caused. It took a few kicks for him to lay flat on the ground, allowing her to grab the bat and dagger he was carrying. She started to run in the direction he came from. 

After yet another corner she took, she lost the little sense of direction that had remained. But there was no time to worry. 

She continued to run until she abruptly recognised an imposing figure in the shadows from afar. The stance, the body, the clothing: it could be no other than her captor who had spotted her, staring at her with a tilted head and black smile on his face. She stopped, froze for a second, turned around and started running the other way around. Even with her newly acquired weapons she was aware that she would hardly be a match for him in these circumstances. 

Feyd-Rautha chuckled. Feisty and spirited. He was happy to see that she lived up to his expectations. He did anticipate she would free herself from the first room, and try to make a run for it. There was a reason he did not bring guards. He had, however, imagined that he would be able to keep her in, as he had carefully removed all sharp and heavy objects. A true fighter he was dealing with. And, by god, she even managed to obtain some weapons. Lovely. She clearly had not given up just yet, just like he asked.

His hunter instinct was kick-started by seeing her flee away. How he loved a game like this. With his longer legs, boots, and overall better condition, it did not take too long before she was within an arm's reach of him. 

She heard him gaining distance on her. His footsteps grew closer and closer. She gave it her all. She needed to outrun him. Her heart was throbbing in her throat from exhaustion. She needed to push through. Or find a way out. But where? No tangible options presented themselves. A sudden ambush perhaps. Short term, but still. 

He was just steps away from her, she could hear it. She decided to push for a last final sprint, to get him to speed up as much as possible, allowing her to suddenly divert her track and use his momentum against him. In the process, she managed to dart around him, while brushing the dagger across his arm. Now standing behind him, he turned to face her. Wearing his evening clothing, but still with boots and a belt with weapons, he showed her the blood on his fingers, which came from the wound she inflicted. Yet another wound he would have her repay.

“It is a dangerous game you play, little one. I have killed for smaller offences” he said menacingly, although his face gave away the joy he felt. "How is my mark on your neck feeling?"

“Kill me” she taunted. “Let's get this over with.” 

“No” he answered. “We both know I won't do that. You are far too lovely to meet such an end. In any case not such a quick end” as he grabbed a knife from his belt in a leisurely pace. He started to walk towards her, shifting his head from left to right, seeing straight through hear face into the inner workings of her brain.

She tried to maintain their distance by moving back as he closed in on her. But there was only so much space, as she was backed against the wall.  

He tigered around her, managing to get her into a corner. “Your strike, lovely lady. I will give you one strike” as he invited her through a gesture to come at him.  

She looked in his eyes and saw darkness. This was a dangerous man, with dangerous games. He was in control. Her only way out would be to disarm him, and hold him hostage until she could get out.  

She decided to make a go for it. Holding the club in her right hand and the dagger in her left hand, her strategy would be to get him to focus on her left hand, lose the club, switch the dagger to her other hand and strike.  

But her eyes gave her away. As she tried to execute this plan, he knew what was coming. He had seen every step that she had anticipated, and before she knew it, his hard chest, just covered with an evening tunic, had pinned her against the wall. She could feel his heart beat through the nothings they both wore. She could feel the heat flowing from his body to hers, as he kept her legs in check by pushing one of his between hers. His growing groin pressed against her bottom. Her body started to respond involuntarily, creating the moisture he craved. Forcing her hand to open, he managed to release the remaining weapon and kick it away. Only now did he turn her to face him, while holding her shoulders with an iron grip. 

She tried to kick him, causing him to push his entire body against hers to keep her still. As response, she pushed her hands on his upper arms. His strength was felt as she was pinned against the wall. His solid arms, his muscular torso, the growing excitement in his nether regions. It caused a further growing excitement in her nether regions as well, the likes of which she had never encountered before.  

“Why do you resist me? You belong here. You want to be here. You want to kneel before me and take everything I have to give to you.” Vile, tainted words came out of his mouth as honey, while his lips touched her neck and ears. He started to kiss, nibbling on her ears, allowing his warm tongue to roam over the ridges of the wound that was sure to become a scar from her ear to her shoulder, claiming her, marking her as his, while holding her head still. “Don't resist” he said with a chanting voice, feeling how her breathing located to the top of her chest. With nearly nothing covering her, she started to fear he would feel the warmth and wetness radiating from her body onto the leg that he had positioned so strategically against her most sensitive area. He wrapped his arms around her back to press her against him, as he softly bit on her neck. “Don't resist. Succumb to me” he continued to chant. He felt she was slipping away, as if her legs were not providing support anymore. 

“I can't” a small voice said with a deep sigh. His mouth on these sensitive areas, his vicinity, all the vile words that had left his sculpted mouth; she started to loose control. Breathing more heavily and rapidly, which he could feel through his chest that still forced her against the wall. 

He knew she was starting to break. All it took was a bit of affection. It was quicker than he had anticipated.  

He softly replied: “you can. And you will” as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Pinching her bottom, awfully near her core with a mind of its own, he said: “you want to submit to me.” 

+++

Next parts listed on my pinned post

[aroaceleovaldez]

thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i

[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol

Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.

Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.

Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...

I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.

I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.

Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!

Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.

[strawberryradiodemon]

Even if you do add asexual, ace or aromantic to the search there's gonna be those "no fictional thing should ever have to present anything accurately or respectfully ever" people like "as an asexual you have my permission to do whatever you want with alastor's asexuality!" like... who tf asked them? they have an agenda they're trying to push, they do not speak for the ace community as a whole 🙄

Yeahh, even with the aro and / or ace tags we're not entirely safe unfortunately.

Such things do annoy me, I'm not gonna lie. I can understand that romance positive aros, sex positive aces or those who still have sex / are in relationships/ etc use the "aro/ace people can still date / have sex" or remind people that it's a spectrum and some still feel these type of attraction because yes, that's true.

But what annoys me is that saying that to people annoyed about the constant sexualisation/ shipping of Alastor is basically siding with the non aroace spectrum people using that "aroace people can still feel that/ do these things!" who saw that and ran with it purely to be able to continue with what they want to do.

Yes, asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums. Yes, some feel the attraction. Yes, some don't but still engage in these activities. And if you're on the aroace spectrum and it's your case obviously I'm not going to shame you for putting alastor in such scenarii because you're using a character like you to relate, and still acknowledging his aroace identity. The problem is that most people putting him in these situations totally disregard his aroaceness. And when as an aroace (spectrum) person, you say "people can still ship him, I do! Aroace people can feel these things or do them!"... You're basically enabling their erasure of his identity. Deep down you're right, but non aroace people don't care about that, and don't do these things the same way you do.

That's why, to non aroace people shipping alastor, I will remind them that he's aroace. And clearly not on the part of the spectrum where he still feels those things, nor is he interested in pursuing them.

And to the people on the aroace spectrum, I will just say, please, don't mistaken their words for a reel need to showcase the variety of our identity, because most of the time that's not what they want. You don't forget his aroaceness in the way your ship him, they do. Ship him all you want, because I know your heart is in the right place. But please don't defend the others.

As a loveless aroace, it pains me to see him constantly shipped and sexualised by everyone (even though that's clearly not what he'd want), and these things being defended.

I thought I had found a character I could relate to, that I could search stuff about him peacefully without seeing all kind of romantic and sexual stuff. I've been proven wrong, and it hurts. And the excuse they use hurt even more, because it feels like we're only palatable or interesting if we can still feel these attractions sometimes or engage in those things. As if alastor being a loveless aroace is a disappointment, that they *need* to ship him to be satisfied, for him to be enough.

Sorry for the rant, I definitely repeated myself, but I wanted to take the opportunity this ask gave me to give a bit of my opinion on this.

Tldr: I have no problem with aroace spectrum shipping him because I know they keep his aroaceness in mind. I have, however, a problem with non aroace spectrum people doing that because they erase his aroace identity completely AND use the diversity of it as an excuse to continue doing so. And it pains me to see fellow aroace people defending that, because I feel like they don't realise how those people ship him.

[writtenbyjeanofarc]

— Johan Liebert - NSFW Alphabet —

Discussion

Alright, so I finally made the decision to take on this challenge and put my creativity into work while making this.

Note that I am not very good with headcanons since I suck at character analysis myself (I lack basic comprehension skills).

I’m just relying on my luck hoping there’ll be people who can relate to these headcanons of mine.

Though I don’t consider Johan to be big or standing out on the topic of romance and sex, it wouldn’t hurt to explore how he’d be like if he ever succumbed to these feelings.

I headcanon Johan as aro-ace, but since sex or having sexual thoughts/fantasies are a part of human nature, I wanted to write this in the RARE scenario where he succumbs to these feelings.

Perhaps someone strikes his fancy in order for him to give two fucks about them—to a point where it starts to affect him physically, emotionally, and mentally.

The possibilities are endless.

So without further ado, here’s the NSFW alphabet indeed, and if Johan is quite OOC here, don’t mind it. I forgot most of the things that happened in the show anyway.

NSFW under the cut!

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I personally have this headcanon that after sex, Johan is a pillowtalker at heart. By definition, pillowtalking is an act of exchanging private conversations, intimate and deep ones. Especially in bed.

When he’s not manipulating someone to committing suicide using guilt, he spends his time communicating with his partner about what he likes (and dislikes) about them, or what he feels about the world. He’s being fairly honest with how he feels, though he masks it as something humorous and lighthearted, but still frightening to his partner.

No, he doesn’t have dark humor, but he’d be the type to talk to you about something controversial and ask your opinion of it. Scenarios like that.

If his partner fell asleep afterwards, he would leave a short letter indicating that he catered to what they needed before leaving, and for some reason, write light possessive content that have this “I’d kill for you” type of vibe.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His and their eyes. The eyes are basically a window to one’s emotions. Johan has high emotional intelligence, and can see through how people feel. Granted, he usually doesn’t feel guilt or remorse for manipulating orphans, so he’d probably use your eyes as an advantage to target you.

Also, this may be OOC, but hands. He doesn’t connect with many people besides his sister and Dr. Tenma, so being able to “connect” his body to yours mainly has to do with hands. He’s not big on physical touch, but at the rare moment, he probably is touch starved like any other human being would be, and will usually be the one initiating it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is pretty thin compared to other thick liquids that come from other men.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He collects a stash of mementos (that remind him of his person of interest) to jerk off to. He’s personally fond of keeping memories and storing them in a secret drawer with a lock so people won’t be able to access them. He’s quite possessive in a rather soft way.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I personally think he has little experience with sex. He doesn’t yearn for someone physically that easily, considering he isn’t easily swayed by external advances like seduction and flirting. Instead, he’d manipulate them back.

That being said, he might be a virgin.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I’m sure whatever his partner wants goes. But if there was something he’d normally go for, it would be missionary. (I know, it sounds vanilla as fuck)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He keeps it balanced. He can be humorous when they’re trying things out, experimenting.

But when he’s close, I’m sure he gets serious in a rather calm way, murmuring sweet nothings on his partner’s ear as he’s about to bust a load of nut from deep within.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He isn’t one to be conscious about body hair, but imo he does shave in case something between him and the person of interest happens. He doesn’t keep a purely shaved cock, however, perhaps just a quick trim.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s not very romantic in a sense, but he occasionally dabs in with emotional support once in a while.

I personally thought of the “I was born to smother you with flowers” line and thought….maybe he could actually have a knack for sweet nothings and charming little messages, verbal and written.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He starts jacking off slow and gently, but it soon evolves into something slightly rough in rare cases. Though he isn’t a rough, brute man with no manners, his patience can get tested if he doesn’t come faster.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I don’t know if stalking is considered a kink but if it is then he has it, with his role being the stalker in this case.

Other than that, he doesn’t have much interest in unusual sexual situations making him quite vanilla.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In his house, or his partner’s house. If he’s feeling lucky, then the library.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

People’s psyche.

Analyzing his person of interest is what turns him on, what makes him feral and craving for more.

The urge to manipulate and guilt trip drives him crazy to the point of wanting to ruin them, emotionally and sexually.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Being touched, kissed, or held without consent.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He mainly prefers giving, even though he doesn’t have much experience and skill. Just like how he initiates conversation smoothly, he’d be able to carefully analyze what you want, and give it to you based on your body language (he is very good at analyzing people’s thought and emotional patterns).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual. Anything fast, stiff, or aggressive turns him off.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Johan doesn’t like them. He likes to take his time dissecting an individual if he ever plans on sleeping with them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is game to experiment and take risks, but does it with precise control over his emotions. He doesn’t raise his voice and lash out if something goes wrong, but will do everything in his will to fix things.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He personally goes for one to two rounds. Not because he lacks the stamina, but because he grows bored and doesn’t feel the need to pursue or fulfill his sexual needs. His sexual needs don’t last, and are very fickle. He can be subject to not continuing if he gets tired.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Personally, I don’t think he has the interest to pursue buying a toy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Expect him to tease you in every way possible. He’ll edge you completely without regret, testing how much you can take before you can just give in and cum at his will.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He moans softly like a young man would, since his voice is pretty high-pitched. He gasps on the occasional note, even going as far as to scream like that scene where he fainted in the library.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He enjoys whispering filthy things to his partner’s ear, mostly backhanded compliments and talking about threatening them playfully. He enjoys adding fuel to the fire even when it’s highly unnecessary given the situation.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Basically nothing much, except for a boner that arises when aroused at a mentally stimulating situation.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Usually low. He doesn’t yearn or crave for sex like how I stated in the beginning, mostly refusing advances out of the many people who fancy him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Barely. He would rather continue doing other things like reading a book, sending an e-mail, but he isn’t the type to sleep right after as he prefers to keep an open eye on his person of interest.

[allastoredeer]

hi!! I just wanted to share with someone else that I have decided to start identifying as asexual, in fact a lot of the discourse around Alastor and having so many aroace perspectives helped

For years I thought I just hadn't felt it, that special spark and I was made to believe that demisexual was something separate from asexual (and that it is more acceptable to be at that place on the scale) because asexual=without sex which I thought is what it was, I just needed the right person because I couldn't be asexual when I have such a high libido and I'm pretty good with masturbation. And then I was introduced to the concept of high-libido asexuals and the whole scale and midtones and it was like something clicked. Yes, yes, that's my experience and oh, I'm not alone, there's something wrong with me.

And I'm crying a little now and I don't know how I feel about telling my family who for years have been worried because "I'm alone" and "it's a shame you're so pretty." but I feel more comfortable starting to look for information and I no longer feel like I'm about to have panic attacks when the topic comes up because even if I don't say it I know I'm asexual and there's something comforting about that.

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm aro or not and if I experience romance and sex separately, but I feel better and more comfortable and it's all thanks to a fictional character and all the people who care about him and have spoken about their own identities.

Just, thank you ❤️

That is so amazing, Anon ಥ◡ಥ I'm so happy for you! Seriously, I'm just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) it really goes to show that talking about sexuality and people's differing experiences is so so crucial (and why all the people who keep acting like asexual=no sex need to STOP. It makes it so much harder for people who are exploring asexuality--whether they're ace or not--and it gives people the wrong idea of what being ace is. And it's just flat out incorrect, so there's that too).

I feel you about the family situation too. I grew up in a family that is very much a get-married-as-quickly-as-possible and a being-single-as-an-adult-for-a-long-time-is-weird type situation. I'm currently the oldest of my parents children who isn't married yet, which is so much fun to talk about in large family gatherings 🙄

I've told a few of my siblings and friends about my sexuality, but I haven't told a majority of my family. I'm not sweating it too much, no one is obligated to officially "come out," after all, especially if they don't feel comfortable doing so. We're allowed to just be.

Like you said, there's comfort in just knowing.

If you do tell your fam, I hope they're open and accepting! And I'm so happy you're feeling more comfortable about yourself too. Your ask is so uplifting, my heart feels 10x lighter T.T

It's amazing how much of an impact a beloved character can have, and all the ways people can relate with them and each other. Alastor and his sexuality means so much to me, and I'm so happy to have found a community of people who feel the same 🥹

Welcome, fellow ace! 💜🤍🖤 We're so happy to have you!

[harrowharkwife]

camilla or pyrrha for the character ask meme!

THANK YOU EMMA FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT CAMMMM MY GIRL.... CAMILLA DARLING

favorite thing about them: where do i even fucking start. her skill, and strength. her wit, she's so goddamn funny. her resolve. her bravery. the quiet ferocious intensity with which she loves and cares about people. as tragic and troubling and fucked up as it is in canon, i find her perennial tendency towards pair-bonded dysfunctional codependency to be. ALARMINGLY relatable. i love her flat affect. i love her observational skills- she's clever, and perceptive. i may or may not have an enormous crush on her. i love her loyalty and devotion. i love (read: hate) her tendency to deflect any and all important personal questions. i love that she doesn't let go. i love her love for spreadsheets and sharp knives and sensible shoes and sketching. i love her impeccable bedside manner. i love her and her letters and her cassette tapes and her fuckass bob and her smile that makes the earth want to marry her and i love her slate-clay eyes and her laugh. i love that she fought like her heart had already exploded.

least favorite thing about them: i mean, with camilla this question is really more of a "most concerning things about them," isn't it? her codependency, her lack of individuation and independence, her refusal to develop her own identity and exist as her own person. which, like, from one autistic bitch to another, girl i Get It. if i could get away with making myself a satellite accessory to another person instead of having to figure out how to be a person myself, if my society had groomed me to do exactly that from birth, yeah, i would probably do the same thing. being a person is fucking exhausting. but it's also so, so worth it, and it breaks my fucking heart that cam never had the chance, and that the people in her life by and large never encouraged her to really try. we do see pal pushing her on it a little here and there from time to time, and i appreciate that, but it was clearly never enough to stick, y'know? i hate how self sacrificing and selfless she is, i wish fandom at large would talk more about her depression, i want to give her wellbutrin and a hug and therapy.

favorite line: too many to choose. life is too short and love is too long. i don't let go, it's my one thing. sure, it's a nice handkerchief. i think there's another teaspoon full of blood in here somewhere. camilla hect fought like a grease fire. the cohort has taken the rest of him away and i don't know where they've put him.

brOTP: gideon, though i am a lover of the cam/gideon agenda! also nona, and palamedes.

OTP: dulcie, but i also love campyrrha, in like a mutually sorrowful toxic cathartic cav4cav grief sex sorta way.

nOTP: idk that i have one? i'm not really into cam/corona the way some people are

random headcanon: autistic like i mentioned earlier. i think she'd love cats

unpopular opinion: personally speaking I'm not a shooter for the aro/ace cam agenda, though i don't have anything against it!!! I've definitely seen it done in fascinating and lovely and compelling ways before! it's just not how i personally interpret her, but i think that's literally just a personal grudge on account of being an autistic woman with somewhat flat affect, and having seen fandoms Immediately jump to hit every serious-mannered, autistic-coded woman character that has flat affect with the aroace headcanon stick Immediately and at first blush without interrogating the potential stereotypes and assumptions behind that choice. not saying that that's what people are doing with cam at all, just that it was a general pattern i was observing across fandoms- honestly i see the logic behind it with her, and i don't think it's a "wrong" way to interpret her at all, i think it's perfectly founded! but unfortunately i am just projecting on her and she got caught in the crosshairs of me deciding i had Had Enough and that it was time to draw the "let autistic women fuck" shaped line in the sand and take a political stance 😂 you understand. aroace cam truthers are some of my most beloved comrades in arms. peace and love on planet earth

song i associate with them: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS HOUR! BY KILO KISH. see also: butterfly net by caroline polachek, true blue by boygenius, my friend by hayley williams, ***look at me now by caroline polachek,*** francis forever by mitski, the body is a blade by japanese breakfast, crude drawing of an angel by caroline polachek.

favorite picture of them: im on mobile and also stoned outta my gourd so I'll rb this with some art tomorrow!

ty emma!!!!

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Sorry if this has been asked before but thoughts on ace and/or aro spec Eddie? Because it is near and dear to my heart. Especially with everything we’ve gotten both on screen and in interviews from Ryan.

I have not gotten this question before!

I would like to preface this by saying that I am not aro/ace so I am speaking in what my understanding of the asexuality spectrum is from my ace friends, so i apologize if I misspeak or say something that is not entirely accurate to the experience of ace/aro people.

Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own interpretations of fictional characters, and I am never going to tell someone they are right or wrong for their interpretation of a character’s actions. However, I personally don’t view Eddie as aromantic, and if I were to place him on the asexuality scale, I would place him more towards demi-sexual than completely asexual. We know Eddie enjoys sex, but he still has a very complicated relationship with it when it comes to the women he has been with, and that could be for a myriad of reasons.

Of course one of these reasons could be that Eddie simply thinks he enjoys sex bc he grew up in a repressive religious environment where he was probably to scared to feel any other way, meaning he could very well be asexual and his seeming enjoyment of sex could be an act he puts on to ignore the part of him that he is repressing.

As a gay eddie truther, I believe this idea partly bc I believe he is trying to convince himself he is into women because that’s what he grew up to be taught that men should be attracted to women. However, I could see this being a pathway for Eddie to be introduced as somewhere on the asexuality spectrum, my personal belief being that he would lie more towards the demi end.

As far as him being aromantic, i personally don’t see this. I think we have seen plenty of times from Eddie that he craves that connection with someone but he actively sacrifices his own desires because he thinks he has some obligation to finding a mother for chris. I feel like what Kim said to Eddie in 7x9 about Eddie having too much love to give is true because he so badly wants to be in love with someone for himself, but he has convinced himself he can’t gave that because he views Christopher needing a mother figure as the more important quality in his romantic partners.

All of this to say, these are just my own thoughts and observations. I am obviously biased as a gay person who relates deeply to eddie for many reasons, and so my interpretation of his actions/words are through that lense. It’s hard for me to really see him as anything else, but just because that is my interpretation does not mean it is the only interpretation or even the right or wrong one. Until we get some form of confirmation from canon that Eddie is queer (which i think is very very very likely to happen this season) all we can do is speculate and theorize based on our own personal interpretations of him as a character— and i think that goes along with Ryan’s quote about how much he loves that such a wide range of people can see themselves in Eddie; and i think that no matter what, he is such a powerful and complex character that no matter what sexuality he ends up being confirmed as in canon so many fans of different sexualities and gender identities will still be able to find that deep connection with him and that is so beautiful to me.

I hope this answered your question! I love getting to have these kind of deep talks that dive into the complexities of human sexuality and all the nuances that come along with it (which is why i almost love the idea of them making Eddie unlabeled even though I personally perceive him as gay!)

I hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening wherever you are! and thank you again for the ask 💕💕

(again, apologies if anything i said misrepresents/misunderstands the aro/ace spectrum, it is not my intention to say anything that is incorrect, but I am not well-versed in the aro/ace spectrum aside from my ace friends)

[writerinturmoil]

Heartstopper Season 3 Reaction

Just watched Heartstopper Season 3, and I would like to talk about it. (Note: This post contains spoilers.)

This season nearly wrecked my emotions. I cried, I laughed, I held my breath. It dealt with some heavy topics, such as mental health, eating disorders, and grief. Also, I related to some of the themes and topics very strongly.

First, let's look at the topic of grief.

Throughout this season and the last, Tao deals with the loss of his father. He fears losing those in his life whom he loves. I can relate. As a teen, I lost my grandma who I connected with on a deep, personal level. Instead of clinging to those I love as Tao does, I did the opposite. I kept people at a distance for fear of getting hurt by letting them into my life. It took several years of working through the grief and processing my emotions to get over the loss. It wasn't a loss as profound as losing a parent (I couldn't imagine.), but it was the first loss I experienced. It's great to see how much progress Tao has made in these two season. I also like that the show didn't rush through the healing process. Getting over grief doesn't take days, it takes years. And twenty-five years later, I still miss my grandma from time to time.

In addition, I related to the Aro and Ace representation in this show. It's not perfect, but it's a start. 🪼

I like the scene on the beach between Charlie and Isaac. When Charlie doesn't know what aromantic is, Isaac tells him to Google it. That's the same thing I tell people when they don't know what AroAce is. Like Issac, nine times out of ten, I don't feel in the mood to give people a "vocabulary lesson". I'll only explain what AroAce is to medical professionals or family members.

I also like the scene at the zoo where Isaac comes out to his friends as AroAce. It resonated with me deeply and was succinctly written. If only I could express myself as clearly as that, nobody would misunderstand me ever again.

I was disappointed that the ferris wheel scene between Charlie and Tori was altered from the graphic novel, but I understand the reason why it was done. I'm glad we got more from Tori this season. And if there's a season 4 (fingers crossed), hopefully we get even more character development. Maybe even resolve some of her mental health issues. Depression?

Speaking of character development, I like the growth of Imogen. She's slowly finding herself and discovering who she really is. Working though all the messiness of societal expectations vs reality. I truly hope she finds her authentic self.

Another character that needs more development is Isaac. Now that he's worked through his sexuality, maybe we'll get more of his personality. I want to know what his family situation is like. If he has any hobbies other than reading. And what his future hopes and dreams are. He's my favorite character, yet I barely know anything about him.

Last character that I need to know more about is Mr. Farouk. I like his kind yet serious personality. I'd like to know more about his past and special interests. I'd like an entire episode dedicated to this stern but tender character.

Next, let's move on to the trans issues raised in this season.

I like that they included nonbinary representation, for I'm nonbinary myself, specifically agender. In addition, I feel that they handled Darcy's coming out as nonbinary extremely well. Plus, there's Felix. This trans identity is sorely lacking in media, and we definitely need more representation.

Speaking of trans representation, I like that we got to explore Elle's gender dysphoria and the discrimination that she faces. That scene at the radio station was executed so acutely and poignantly. When the interviewer started in with the trans questions, my heart nearly sank into the pit of my stomach. How could anyone think those appropriate questions to ask? Especially given the fact that Elle is a teenager, and this is her fist interview. My heart goes out to her, and while watching that scene, I wanted nothing more than to give her a big hug.

Now, let's move our focus onto the mental health issues covered in this season.

It's good that we got some accurate representation of anorexia and OCD.

Most shows only depict anorexia nervosa affecting teenage girls and young women. It's good getting the message out there that boys can suffer from this disorder as well. It also addresses the fact that not all eating disorders stem from body dysmorphia. Some develop as a result of mental illness or neurodevelopmental conditions, such as schizophrenia, OCD, autism, or sensory processing disorder.

Most shows depict those with OCD counting the number of times they turn on or off a light switch or cleaning obsessively. Some with OCD may do these behaviors, but they're not a prerequisite. People with OCD have varied experiences and presentations. The commonality between all of them being obsessions and compulsions in the form of obtrusive thoughts or harmful behavior, such as self-harm or suicidal ideation. Even though I feel this show does a good job with OCD representation, it could still be expanded upon. They could really get into the obsessions and compulsions, and showcase the ramifications these have on Charlie's life. There's a particularly poignant scene in the novella This Winter. I understand it could not be included due to time constraints, but I hope something like this is included in the future.

I'd also like to see some discussions around neurodivergent conditions, such as autism, ADHD, or AuDHD. I know that Bradley Riches who plays James McEwan has autism. Perhaps, James could have it as well? It could help dispel some of the stereotypes surrounding these conditions. For autism, most people think Sherlock Holmes or Sheldon Cooper. For ADHD, most people think Bart Simpson. And in a show or movie, never did I see someone who has both like me.

Lastly, my final thoughts.

If only I had this show when I was a teenager in the early noughties, I would’ve had the words to describe my experiences much sooner. It wasn't until uni when I had access to the internet that I discovered the words AroAce and agender.

Lastly, as an autistic, I'd hate the only form of communication being a landline phone. I have a hard time understanding someone if I can't see their facial features or body expressions. Also, the person who I'm talking to always sounds like they're either chewing food or speaking in a foreign accent. That's why I prefer to text or dm my friends and family. I guess if I was in that clinic seeking treatment, I'd just have to write them letters or postcards.

Well, that's all I have for today. Until next time, take care and stay curious.

[bandtrees]

i already sent you a character but i wanna send another one. tell me about Oliver

YAERSSE!! SEND ME A CHARACTER!!

Sexuality Headcanon: romance-repulsed, aroallo, gay :] i am very fond of aro oliver - he seems to be the one of the datables with the most hangups on using specifically romantic terminology and i believe in my heart of hearts, when oliver figures out this is an option for him, him and gingi instead have some qpp-adjacent swag going on where they come up with increasingly absurd nonromatic ways to refer to eachother. gingi's like Ok i got it. You're my Grub. and oliver's like HEY IF ANYTHING YOURE MY GRUB. YOURE THE SLIMY ONE and gingi's like Oliveman i have seen the inside of that theater its the moistest place on the planet

Gender Headcanon: trans guy :] might fuss around with neopronouns and the like if he knew of em

A ship I have with said character: well i already went on an oliver/gingi spiel but i do really like it lolol. they mesh together really well - they have a really fun dynamic with gingi being the one to take on the straight-man role from time to time because oliver can just be that weird. there is nothing that delights me more than seeing my friends play dialtown for the first time, meet oliver, and realize OH HE'S FREAKY FREAKY.

A BROTP I have with said character: do you know how happy it makes me that him and god canonically hang out? very happy.

A NOTP I have with said character: i'm not really an olandy guy, at least not in the way the fandom popularly portrays it :'] i don't hate it - it's just not my thing and i am extraordinarily picky about it. i had a concept once for an olandy fic, specifically post-fuckfacev2 ending, that would've been about building yourself up from rock bottom and whatnot, but i haven't found a place where i'm super happy with it lol.

A random headcanon: we know he likes mockbusters in general but i love imagining he really likes dingo pictures especially

General Opinion over said character: it's hard for me to pin my "favorite" dialtown character, especially where the datables are concerned, because my top favs i reckon most people associate with me arent any of the datables - but oliver's my favorite of the datables 100%. i really really like him, and i remember being really touched by his route when i saw it for the first time. i've done a lot of analysis and the like of him for [REDACTED SPECIAL SECRET PROJECTS] and he's a character i found myself relating to a lot more than i thought i would (same name aside lol) as someone who's ruled by empathy and what he thinks is right for others even if it isn't - he's unique in the dialtown cast in that he's already a guy who has a lot of his shit together and most of his issues read to me as more of either "already-resolved past problems, or undercurrents that aren't really relevant to his arc as a whole"(ie. his insecurities you can see pop up sometimes- he's someone who knows he's weird and accepts it wholeheartedly but when it comes to people he wants to actively impress he becomes more reserved, which i find super fun). his flaws aren't as in-your-face as the other characters', but they are there, just gotta dig to analyze him more and i find it really rewarding to do so. i like him a lot!!!!!!

i drew him with my left hand once

[realredbanana]

For the secondary character ask game: 6, 7, 8, 16

Hi, thanks for the numbers <3 (why does that sound so awkward when I type it 😭)

6. Character(s) you have ace, aro, or queerplatonic headcanons for:

　So, this is like 90% projection, but I kinda see Sara as vaguely aro-spec? I think there’s something about the way she talks about crushes that just felt relatable to me so she just kinda ended up vaguely aro-spec in my head. Idk. (Plus her friends seeming baffled that she could possibly have lived 17-18yrs without experiencing a crush (pre-August) was so incredibly real).

　(Others that I don’t really have much to say about: ace!Henry (because I read @sflow-er’s Supplementary facets fic series and it just kinda stuck), and I kinda liked aroace!Felice from @zee-has-commitment-issues’s Reckless Abandon).

7. Character you didn’t initially like/love but have now warmed up to:

　Honestly, August. I found him vaguely interesting at the start, but he annoyed me so much that I just avoided thinking about him, which it turns out was mostly because I just didn’t know what I wanted to do with him. But, now I have an idea of where I could go post-canon (thanks to some of your posts and our conversations), I like him a lot more.

(Insert seemingly obligatory disclaimer within this fandom that, while I do like him, I don’t condone lots of his actions)

8. Pairing you didn’t initially like/love but have now warmed up to:

　I guess saraugust? There’s a few pairings that I’d previously never considered but now quite like, but I don’t think there’s any that I’ve actively disliked that I now like (in fact, there’s only, like, one (non-creepy) pairing that I’m opposed to).

　I think I like saraugust now more than I used to, in the sense that I now think it’d be interesting to see them potentially get back together years in the future (like you’ve mentioned at some point), but I’ve always found their interactions to be pretty interesting (and they both bring out a quite different side to each other).

16. A song that reminds you of a secondary character or pairing:

　Truly, this was a mistake to ask me because I, quite frankly, do not shut up about songs reminding me of characters, so to list a few:

1. Somewhere In Ann Arbor by Anson Seabra vaguely reminds me of post-canon crown prince August pre-growth and stuff.

2. Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + The Machine reminds me of Kristina and the royal family as a whole.

3. Machine Learning by Janani K. Jha indirectly kinda reminds me of Sara in the sense that it kinda reminds me of autistic masking.

(this is very much making me realise how many songs I associate with Simon tbh, because I have a “reminded me of a YR character” playlist, and it seems to be like 90% Simon 😭)

Questions

[markerofthemidnight]

🏳️‍🌈 as many as you want.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

Oh, shit! No specific fandom in mind or anything?! HOLY SHIT YOU BET I’M GONNA MAKE THE MOST OF THIS!

(warning: rant incoming (under cut))

Hatchetfield (specifically The Lords in Black)

I’ve already talked about my headcanons for their sexualities on a different ask, so let me just run through any specific mental stuff I think they may have…

Tinky definitely has ADHD or something similar, Pokey probably has some kind of antisocial disorder which is why he’s… Like That™️, and maybe autism too (noise sensitivity). I’ve also called Wiggly a narcissist a few times, and while I stand by the fact that that could be the case, I don’t want to make a statement like that about a disorder that I don’t know all too well.

They all go by he/it mainly. They’re fine with any pronouns, though.

Project: Eden’s Garden

I’m not going to give any disorder to Tozu because I think it’s much more fitting for him to just be… straight-up insane rather than having any undiagnosed mental thingy (though ADHD is a possibility, short attention span and all.) He’s definitely somewhere in the ace spectrum, if you ask me! I’d personally like to say panromantic and asexual. And obviously, his race is British.

Mara is also somewhere on the ace spectrum, though I haven’t decided where. I’m not sure what kind of mental illness she might have, though probably something trauma-related like PTSD knowing the kind of story the devs will probably give her.

Other than that, lemme run through the students really quick… Eva is also also somewhere on the ace spectrum, Eloise has an inferiority complex, Damon has DEFINITELY had some very non-straight thoughts that he’s in denial about… oh, and Kai goes by he/they, though wether that’s just for the clout or if they’re genuinely genderqueer is up for debate!

Chonny Jash (GOD it’s been a while since I mentioned that name huh?)

You will pry my headcanon that the Headspace is just the result of a really weird plural disorder from my cold, dead hands. Other than that, Heart and Mind are both autistic, just in different ways (Heart has sensory problems, Mind is antisocial with a tendency to take everything literally, and both have special interests). Soul definitely has something too, but I’m not sure what.

They’re all gay as shit, but to different extents (Soul is straight up homosexual, Heart is pan with a preference for men, and Mind is grey-homoromantic aseuxal).

Finally, they all grew up in Australia but moved to the states at some point in their life (hence their accents. Their old one comes back sometimes depending on their emotions.)

Dreams of an Insomniac

Alex is gay. So gay. I don’t know why they just give off those vibes.

Dr Lankmann is aro/ace, and doesn’t understand people who feel any kind of attraction at all. As in, some of his closest followers have had to talk him out of dissecting the brains of allo people multiple times.

We already know that all Veldigun are aro/ace, and mainly go by he/it pronouns, but if I were to add to that: The Flock goes by they/it, and Simon goes by he/they and is only referred to as “it” by those who don’t trust him.

And, while you’ve given me the opportunity… eh, why the hell not? SNG&D HEADCANONS LETS GOOOOOO (spoilers ahead but honestly I don’t think you care)

SNG&D

(JJ and Ricky are from SpiffyNeedleGeeks’ now-cancelled Curse of Strahd campaign, and played by Lettersent (or Dion, he’s fine with either))

First off, they’re both aro/ace. Like, SO aro/ace. These are children we’re talking about, after all.

We already know they have OSDD canonically, but a very specific headcanon I’ve had for a long time is that they’re also autistic! Mainly because generally their vibes remind me of my own autistic ass, but also because LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT JJ’S BLANK FUCKING AUTISM CREATURE STARE.

JJ’s autism manifests mainly in the way he acts. Again, the blank stare he canonically does 99% of the time, his tendency to stay futher away from the group (especially before he really learns to trust the rest of the party), the sort of silent nervousness he has around strangers contrasted by the rabid little bastard he becomes when he’s around people he dislikes (in a different way to Ricky taking control) all give me a lot of autistic vibes.

Ricky, however, is a bit harder to categorise. Mainly because most of these are just my headcanons, but… eh. I like to think that he’s, to an extent, a bit noise-sensitive (part of the reason why he doesn’t like social situations besides just being terrible at them), we already know he’s touch-averse canonically, and he’s got a big aversion to certain tastes and textures (though that’s less due to the autism and more due to the fact that he’d literally never eaten before in his life until like a week ago).

This also adds a much funnier layer to why he’s so overprotective of JJ. It’s not just because, y’know, he was born specifically to protect him, but also because it’s literally his special interest. Whenever someone asks him something about him, it probably takes all the strength he has to resist the urge to ramble for hours.

Aside from that, the brothers also both gained PTSD from everything they’ve been through. While I’m fairly sure it’s canon that Ricky has PTSD from their death, I like the idea that JJ has some too that he more or less got over in the years between their death and meeting the party. (The sight of a Displacer Beast still puts him on edge, though.)

…Sorry, I just- I had to get that off my chest.

I could talk about my headcanons for some of their other characters more, but I think I’ve been ranting on too much (besides, it’s mainly JJ and Ricky I have headcanons for anyways, as they are by far my favourites).